192.102 Acdemic English assignment 学术英语代写

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192.102 Acdemic English assignment 学术英语代写

Study Guide

Internal Course

Semester Two 2017

Welcome to 192.102

The aim of this course is to assist students from non-English speaking backgrounds

to develop their critical reading, academic writing, and English language skills in

order to study university courses through the medium of English.

Hello everyone, my name is David Ishii and I’m the course

coordinator for 192.102 at the Albany campus in Auckland.

If you have any general questions about the course, I would be happy

to hear from you.

Course Coordinator: Dr. David Ishii

Email: d.ishii@massey.ac.nz

Telephone: 09-414-0800 ext. 43371

Mailing address: School of Humanities, PO Box 102 904,

Albany, Auckland 0745

All the best with your studies!

David

Course tutor: Malcolm Keene

I will be working closely with you by leading the weekly sessions and

providing feedback on all the assignments. If you have any questions

about the lessons or assignments, or more importantly, if you feel

that you are falling behind, please don’t hesitate to contact me at

m.d.keene@massey.ac.nz

Study guide contents

Section Information Page numbers

A Administration Guide

Semester schedule / calendar

Recommended dictionaries

Writing support

Submitting assignments on Stream

Plagiarism

The essay assignment

The report assignment

3-13

B Getting Started

Stream

Emailing your tutor

Diagnostic writing

14-17

C Weekly Lessons

Week-by-week writing tasks

18-98

D Learning tools and tips

Sample essays

Sample reports

Language tips

99-119

This study guide is divided into four sections:

Section A provides general information about the course and the assessments (essay

and report assignments).

Section B helps you get started by introducing yourself to Stream and to your tutor.

Section C introduces you to various writing skills and tasks week-by-week.

Section D is where you will find resources that you may find helpful when writing your

assignments.

Note:

If you are searching for a specific page in this study guide, please refer to the last page,

which provides a more detailed table of contents.

Section A

Administration Guide

Semester schedule

Please use the calendar below to help you organise your study time.

Week starting Topic

17 July 192.102 course overview

how to use Stream, how to email your tutor

introduction to the assessments

24 July paragraph structure, transition words

audience, understanding the assignment question

31 July searching for information

summarising and paraphrasing

in-text references

Library workshop (Wednesday 2 August 3-4 pm) Library training room, one level up from ground floor

Deadline: Tell your tutor what your essay topic is

7 Aug planning your essay structure

essay introduction

14 Aug essay body and conclusion

post-text references (APA)

21 Aug

Assessment: Submit a printed copy to the Atrium building level 2 reception desk AND upload an

e-copy of your essay assignment (25%) to Stream online by Friday 25 August 2017.

semester break

11 Sep essays versus reports

introduction to the report assignment

report planning

18 Sep report introduction

discussion section

active versus passive voice

25 Sep using quotations

report conclusions

2 Oct report recommendations

formatting tables, figures, and appendices

report structure

9 Oct one-on-one help with the report assignment

Assessment: Submit a printed copy to the Atrium building level 2 reception desk AND upload an

e-copy of your report assignment (35%) to Stream online by Friday 13 October 2017.

16 Oct Exam preparation: Exam practice and tips

Final exam (40%): Check Massey’s website for exam date/time/room

Recommended dictionaries

There are no required textbooks for this course except for the study guide. If you are

unsure about which dictionary to use or purchase, please don’t hesitate to talk to your tutor

for advice.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/

This website contains an extensive library of words and phrases. It provides

numerous examples to explain how a single word can have several different

meanings.

Any Collins Cobuild or Longman dictionary (print copy)

These two companies publish many different versions so it is best to browse

through them before buying.

Oxford Collocations Dictionary for Students of English (print copy)

This dictionary shows how words (noun, verbs) combine with other words in distinct

patterns. It is extremely helpful for understanding the use of academic words.

Writing support

Along with your tutor, the Centre for Teaching and Learning can offer individual

support for content, language, and other assignment-related problems. If you are able to

visit one of the campuses, check the contact details under “one-to-one support” in the

following link: http://www.massey.ac.nz/massey/student-life/services-and-

resources/academic-skills-support/academic-support_home.cfm

Another useful resource is Massey’s Online Writing and Learning Link (OWLL) . Visit

http://owll.massey.ac.nz/ for online information about various topics related to academic

writing (e.g., how to write essays/reports, how to do APA referencing, and how to

paraphrase).

Submitting assignments on Stream

Please type your assignments on A4-size format using 12-point font. Use a font type such

as Arial or Times New Roman. Ensure that your text is double-spaced (i.e., write on every

other line leaving a space in between).

When submitting an assignment to Stream, first click on the link to the assignment. Then

click on “browse” to locate the file on your computer and then “upload this file” (see

screenshot below). Check to make sure that the file you have selected is the correct one,

then click on “send for marking”.

Plagiarism

Using the exact words and ideas of another author without acknowledging the person or

institution in your writing is called “plagiarism”. You must use your own words and include

an in-text and post-text reference in your essay or report. You may receive content and

language help from others but you are solely responsible for the writing and proofreading

of your submitted work.

Massey University takes plagiarism seriously and this may result in a non-passing

assignment grade. As a tertiary-level student, it is important for you to develop your written

communication skills and not rely on copying and pasting text into your assignments.

Stream automatically checks your submitted assignments with previous students’ work,

online websites, and academic journals in a software program called Turnitin.

If you are unsure as to how to borrow ideas from a source and write these ideas in your

own words, please ask your tutor for assistance.

Assessments

This course is worth 15 credits. There are three assessments in this course. Both the

report and final examination are compulsory assessments and must be attempted in order

to pass the course. The details of each of the assessments will be explained by the tutor.

Assessment Value Due Date

1 Academic essay 25% Friday 25 August 2017

2 Academic report* 35% Friday 13 October 2017

3 Final examination* 40% See Massey’s website

*Compulsory assignments (you must attempt these assessments to pass the course)

Your assignments will be graded according to the persuasiveness of your content, the

organisation and flow of ideas in your essay or report and the quality of your academic

language use and formatting. The criteria for marking your assignments are on page 10

(essay) and page 13 (report). Use the checklists on these pages before handing in your

assignments.

In general, late submissions within one week of the due date will receive a minimum 10%

penalty. Submissions later than one week will not receive a higher mark than a C grade.

Assignments handed in two weeks beyond the due date will not be accepted unless a

medical/counsellor’s certificate is provided. The final date when late assignments can be

handed in is one day prior to the final exam. No extensions after this date will be granted.

If you are having problems completing an assignment, please make sure that you contact

your tutor way in advance of the due date.

Essay assignment (25%)

Purpose: To show your ability to answer an assignment question by

researching appropriate information from the library, organise

content into an essay structure, write coherent sentences and

paragraphs using clear vocabulary and grammar, and format your

writing to tertiary-level academic standards.

Assignment

question:

Choose an issue in society that is under some public debate or

controversy (i.e., a difference in informed opinion). Examples

include the need to implement a capital gains tax in NZ, the

increase/decrease of the legal age limit for drivers/alcohol

consumption, and the impact of offshore seabed mining. Browse

websites from TV news stations (TV1, TV3) newspapers (NZ

Herald, The Dominion Post), magazines (North & South, The

Listener), for topic ideas but do NOT use them as your primary

sources. You must check your essay topic with your tutor by the

end of week 3 (see the next page for more topic ideas).

Write an essay explaining (a) why the issue is controversial (b)

what arguments exist for both sides, and (c) what your view is

concerning this issue. Find at least three (3) “academic” sources

(i.e., not from your own personal feelings or experiences) to

support the statements in your essay. Include a reference list at

the end of your essay. Ask your tutor if you are unsure about

what points to focus on in your essay.

Word limit: Minimum of 1200 words (include a word count at the end of your

essay)

Due date: Topic check with your tutor: week of 31 July-4 August 2017

Final submission: Friday 25 August 2017

- A printed copy to the Atrium building level 2 reception desk

- an e-copy to Stream

How do I format

and submit my

assignment?

- 12 point font (Arial, Times New Roman, etc.)

- double-spaced (leave a blank space in between each line)

- include page numbers and a word count

- no title page is necessary but make sure that your full name is

on the first page or on every page in a header

Topics for your essay assignment

Choose a topic that is both current and controversial. Consider topics that are related to

your major or field of study. Ensure that your topic can be changed into a yes/no question.

There should also be a few reasons that support both sides of the argument.

Examples of “controversial” topics:

Should the legal age limit for driving/smoking be increased/decreased?

Should the government be responsible for funding meals in public schools?

Should state assets be sold?

Should offshore seabed mining be allowed?

Should a capital gains tax be introduced?

Should only New Zealand residents be allowed to purchase property?

Other topics?

***Important: By the end of week 3 (31 July - 4 August), choose one of the topics

above or one of your own.

Your essay assignment requires that you choose a “controversial” topic. You must explain

your topic by identifying the issues presented by both sides. In other words, you must

explain the positive AND negative issues for BOTH sides. The diagram below shows the

kinds of content that you could discuss in your essay:

Side A Side B

One group of people calls for the

introduction or implementation of X

Another group of people oppose the

introduction or implementation of X

Argument:

Introduce or implement X

Change is needed

Argument:

Do NOT introduce or implement X

Maintain the status quo

Supporting reasons:

The beneficial impacts (1, 2, and 3) of

introducing X will be greater than the

negative effects

Supporting reasons:

The negative impacts (1, 2, and 3) of

introducing X will outweigh any positive

effects

Acknowledgement of the other side:

The negative impacts are not problematic

Acknowledgement of the other side:

The positive impacts are not all positive

Your opinion:

Identify points raised by one or both sides of the

controversial issue to provide reasons which will either

support or reject the introduction/ implementation of X

The diagram below may help you organise your essay. You might include a “background”

paragraph” after your introductory paragraph if you feel that your tutor needs to understand

key definitions, historical/contextual facts, or other information that cannot be included in

your introduction. Be careful… your assignment is not an essay that explains only the

advantages and disadvantages of X.

INCORRECT structure for your essay assignment

1. Introduction

2. Advantage #1 of X

3. Advantage #2 of X

4. Disadvantage #1 of X

5. Disadvantage #2 of X

6. Conclusion

Potential essay structure

1. Introduction

2. Background contextual or historical issues surrounding X, definitions or terminology

3. Side A’s supporting reasons for introducing X

4. Side A’s acknowledgement of the other side

5. Side B’s supporting reasons for NOT introducing X

6. Side A’s acknowledgement of the other side

7. Conclusion

1. Introduction

2. Background contextual or historical issues surrounding X, definitions or terminology

3. Issue #1: Side A and B’s viewpoint

4. Issue #2: Side A and B’s viewpoint

5. Issue #3: Side A and B’s viewpoint

6. Conclusion

Checklist for your essay assignment

 I have chosen a “controversial” topic checked by my tutor and I have discussed both

sides of the issue in my essay.

 I have used content from trustworthy academic sources.

 I have written a clear essay structure with easily identifiable introduction, body, and

conclusion sections.

 Each paragraph has a single and clear focus.

 I have written clear topic sentences and used appropriate transition words.

 I have used my own words and not copied the text from the original source.

 I have included my sources in the body of my essay (i.e., in-text references) and a

reference list at the end of my assignment.

 I have proofread my writing to use more academic vocabulary and fix any grammar

mistakes.

 I have checked my assignment for spelling, punctuation, and capitalisation mistakes.

 I have included a word count (1200 words) after my reference list. My word count is +/-

10% around the word limit to avoid any grade penalty.

 I have double-spaced my paper and used an appropriate font style and size.

Report assignment (35%)

Purpose: To show your ability to answer a client-specific report brief by researching

appropriate information from the library, organising content into a report

structure, writing coherent sentences and paragraphs using clear

vocabulary and grammar, and formatting your writing to tertiary-level

academic standards.

Assignment

question:

Choose one of the topics below for your report assignment. Include a

minimum of five (5) academic sources to support your statements. Format

your report using APA style publication standards.

Report briefs Topic 1: New Zealand’s Quality of Life for New Migrants

An independent, immigration consultancy firm, NZ Migrants, has requested

a report to better understand what new migrants are satisfied with in their

current lives in New Zealand. Elizabeth Grove, Director of NZ Migrants, is

also interested in whether there are any major differences in satisfaction

between different ethnic, gender, or age groups. The company will use the

findings from your report and other reports to send a larger document to

NZ’s Minister of Immigration; therefore, your report should include feasible

recommendations that may be implemented by the government for

improving new migrant’s quality of life in the short- and long-term.

Topic 2: Goods and services tax (GST)

The New Zealand government is always challenged with the task of

allocating appropriate levels of funding towards public services (e.g.,

hospitals, schools) or industries (agriculture, tourism). Increasing taxes is

one source of funding for the government and attention has recently

looked at potential changes to the goods and services tax (GST). Instead

of altering the rate, which is currently set at 15%, some members of

parliament are voicing their opinions in favour of implementing additional or

reduced taxes on specific goods (e.g., a sugar tax, a soft drink tax, fruits

and vegetables as GST-free). A New Zealand based group, Economic

Think Tank, is requesting a report that identifies the types of goods and

services that could be recipients of surplus or reduced taxes. Are certain

goods and services more easily taxable than others? Is it economically

feasible to implement a GST-free policy on particular goods and services?

Have other countries introduced unique GST programmes? Two or three

examples of goods (or services) should be investigated, followed by

recommendations for adding or reducing the GST. Other suggestions may

include references to particular social or economic groups within New

Zealand.

Word limit: Minimum of 2000 words (include a word count at the end)

Due date: Final report due: Friday 13 October 2017

- A printed copy to the Atrium building level 2 reception desk

- An e-copy to Stream

Formatting: (same as the essay assignment)

Report structure

Use the sample reports on pages 102-116, and the report structure guide below to check

that you have included all the required sections in your report submission.

Title Page

Table of Contents

1. Introduction

- Who is the report written for?

- What are the aims or objectives of the report?

- What is the background of the problem, company, or situation?

2. What findings (or facts) did you discover from your readings?

Heading #1 (using appropriate keywords)

Paragraph #1

- Topic sentence for all your points

- Topic sentence for point #1

- Give facts, data, examples, quotes and statistics to support your topic sentence

- Topic sentence for point #2

- Give facts, data, examples, quotes and statistics to support your topic sentence

- Brief summary of previous points (related to the aims of your report)

Paragraph #2

- (follow the same structure as paragraph #1)

Heading #2 (using appropriate keywords)

(follow the same structure as heading #1)

3. Conclusions

Summarise the facts from your discussion section

- group the points from your discussion section into themes

- identify your most important conclusion and state it first

- use 1 to 3 sentences for each point in your conclusion

- include at least 3 to 5 concluding points

- number your points (e.g., 3.1, 3.2, 3.3)

- do not add any new information, summarise the points in your discussion section

- do not give your own personal opinion

4. Recommendations

What (feasible) suggestions can you make?

- make realistic suggestions

- be as specific as possible

- the suggestions should follow logically from the discussion and conclusion sections

- identify your most important recommendation and state it first

- use 1 to 3 sentences for each point in your conclusion

- include at least 3 to 5 recommendations

- number your points (e.g., 5.1, 5.2, 5.3)

- use appropriate language for suggestions

Appendices (optional) - put large tables, charts or other data here

References (follow the APA style format)

Checklist for your report assignment

 I have chosen one of the topics and have written a report that responds to the

assignment brief.

 I have used content from trustworthy academic sources.

 I have written a clear report structure with easily identifiable introduction, discussion,

conclusion, and recommendation sections.

 My introduction includes information about the client, the aims of the report, and

relevant background information.

 My discussion section includes relevant statements, facts, quotes, statistics, or other

information from reliable sources.

 My conclusions section includes a summary of the main points outlined in my

discussion section. It does not include new information not presented in the discussion

section.

 My recommendations section includes specific and feasible suggestions that the client

would find useful. The recommendations should logically link with and follow the

statements in the preceding conclusions section.

 Each paragraph has a single and clear focus. I have used appropriate headings in my

discussion section.

 I have written clear topic sentences and used appropriate transition words.

 I have used my own words and not copied the text from the original source.

 I have included my sources in the body of my essay (i.e., in-text references) and a

reference list at the end of my assignment.

 I have proofread my writing to use more academic vocabulary and fix any grammar

mistakes.

 I have checked my assignment for spelling, punctuation, and capitalisation mistakes.

 I have included a title page, table of contents, page numbers, and a word count (2000

words). My word count is +/- 10% around the word limit to avoid any grade penalty.

 I have double-spaced my paper and used an appropriate font style and size.

Section B

Getting Started

Emailing your tutor

Communication is key in this course (and in life)!

Although this course focuses on developing your writing ability for your other tertiary-level

papers, it is important to remember that writing well also extends to writing clearly in your

emails and any other correspondences with others.

Stream

Stream is our main mode of communication so the first step in getting started in this

course is to familiarise yourself with Massey’s online learning system. First, login to

Stream (if you have problems logging in then, please let your tutor know as soon as

possible).

Click on the 192.102 paper link and then see if you can find:

(a) your tutor’s email address

(b) the section where important updates or resources may be added by the tutor

If everything is fine, then let’s move on to the next task.

Emailing your tutor

Writing Task

Your first writing task is quite simple. Introduce yourself to your tutor and

classmates by posting a short self-introduction (100 words maximum) to the Stream

forum, “Self-introductions”.

Start with a basic greeting (e.g., Kia ora, Hi everyone), and your name (or a name that you

preferred to be called).

Where you are studying? (since this is a distance course) How long have you been living

in New Zealand? What do you like about where you live or NZ?

What is your first language? Do you speak any other languages? What countries have you

visited or lived in?

What is your major (or if undecided which subjects interest you). What kind of job or career

are you aiming for?

Tell everyone one thing about yourself that is unique, different, or interesting!

Finish your introduction with a closing remark (e.g., I’m looking forward to…)

For future correspondence with your tutor, please follow the email guidelines below:

In the “subject” field:

• Include the paper number and brief purpose/focus of your email

In your message:

• Include a basic greeting (e.g., Hi Malcolm, Dear Mr. Keene)

• Include a concise and clear message or request (check your spelling!)

• Include a closing remark (e.g., Kind regards, Thank you)

• Include your full name (in case a classmate shares the same name as you)

What’s wrong with these emails?

What do you think is wrong with the following emails that students have sent to their

tutors? How can you make them sound more appropriate?

Email #1 – Situation: If you are sick

Subject: hi

Hey Malcolm! How are you? I’m feeling sick.  I couldn’t upload thru Stream.

Michael ID 11109876

Email #2 – Situation: If you need help with your assignment

Subject: help me assignment due tomorrow

Hi, can you check my draft? how many references do I need. Please answer this email

ASAP. Cheers, MJ

Email #3 – Situation: If you want to see your tutor for extra help

Subject: apontmnt

Malcolm, I want to ask you questions, what is your skype address, can I skype you tonite

See u soon and thank u 4 yor time. Michael J

Email #4 – Situation: If you didn’t finish an assignment on time

Subject: what to do?

Hi sir. Michael here. I didn’t finish the writing assignment. What should I do? Please tell

me.

Email #5 – Situation: If you are not passing the 192.102 paper

Subject: exam

Can you give me more marks for the exam? This is my last semester. I must pass this

paper. Please help me. Thank you for your understanding.

Diagnostic writing

To help the tutor understand your strengths and weaknesses, please do the following

writing task.

Write a paragraph (approximately 200 words) that argues in favour of or against one of the

following statements.

• Learning English outside the classroom is just as important as learning inside the

classroom.

• Social media has both positive and negative effects on the way people interact with each

other.

• A growing population means increasing problems with housing shortages, unemployment,

inefficient transportation, inaccessible health services and rising pollution levels; therefore,

New Zealand should limit immigration.

Section C

Week-by-Week Lessons

Paragraph structure

Writing can be done in a conversational way (similar to spoken language) or academically

(following a specific format for content and organisation). To clarify this difference, look at

the three paragraphs below that were written about the everyday topic of “films”.

Imagine you were asked to write a paragraph that explained what the best film of 2009

was. Compare the three writing samples below.

Writing sample #1

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is my favourite movie because of its realistic

special effects and interesting sci-fi creatures. First, the special effects were especially

well done since it was a first attempt in movie history to transform robots into cars and

vice versa. The robots displayed their strength and speed which added to the excitement

of the film. Second, the story was interesting since it had a variety of robots. One type of

machine included a scorpion-like creature that could move underneath the sand. This

movie is one of my favourite movies because it blends a good sci-fi story with realistic

computer graphics.

Writing sample #2

I really like the special effects in this film. The car chase scene was fantastic. It was very

exciting. Do you like cars? I love cars. I own a Ford Falcon but I’d rather have a Holden

Commodore. The movie also had cool robots and they moved fast. You should see this

film.

Writing sample #3

The Academy Awards bestowed “The Hurt Locker” with the honour of the “best” picture of

2009. The director, Kathryn Bigelow, followed an elite Army bomb squad through the

intensity and chaos of defusing bombs during the Iraqi war, which earned 15 million dollars

in the US. However, James Cameron’s “Avatar”, was the most successful movie of 2009

with US box office earnings of more than 760 million dollars (Rottentomatoes.com, 2011).

This science fiction adventure told a story about a clash over resources between Earth and

the inhabitants of another planet. The film introduced advances in 3D camera effects but

the technology was not enough for Avatar to secure the Oscar in 2009.

• Which paragraph is more conversational than academic-sounding?

• Which paragraph answers the writing question about the “best film of 2009”? Why?

• Which paragraph’s first sentence is strong? Which keywords are important?

• Which paragraph is well-organised? Why?

The basic structure of a paragraph in academic writing includes:

1 A topic sentence To tell the reader what the main focus of the

paragraph is. The paragraph should not shift from

one topic to another but stick to the main focus.

2 Supporting points, facts,

examples, statistics, or quotes

To give the reader reasons, examples, or

information that will inform or convince the reader.

Each point should relate to the topic sentence.

3 A concluding or

linking sentence

To summarise all the points made in the paragraph

or to connect the topic to the following paragraph.

Imagine that you were asked to write a paragraph about a profitable New Zealand

business and to discuss one main reason for its success. Compare the two paragraphs

below.

Writing sample #1

Nowadays, the Warehouse is very clever. The company has good sales on many different

products. For example, they sell Whittaker’s chocolate-covered peanut slabs in a package

of 3 for $2.99. The Warehouse prints coloured flyers too. I’ve seen ads in newspapers but

they also have an online store which is a good marketing strategy.

Writing sample #2

Part of the Warehouse’s success is due to its use of a wide variety of marketing strategies.

Monthly flyers are printed advertising sales that coincide with national holidays, school

holidays or other occasions. These flyers are often distributed to home owners’ mailboxes

and also placed within the folds of weekend newspapers. Another means of gaining

exposure is through the use of regular television and radio ads that include the catchy

jingle, “where everyone gets a bargain”. The ads are broadcast during evenings or

weekends to tempt listeners or viewers to go out and visit their stores. The company’s

online store also targets web-savvy consumers who are looking for a deal on household

goods. The combination of these marketing strategies has helped maintain the public’s

awareness of the Warehouse’s discounted sales throughout the year.

• Why is the first writing sample not a strong paragraph?

• Why is the second writing sample stronger?

• What keywords appear in the topic sentence in the second writing sample?

• Could the second paragraph be improved?

For the following paragraphs:

(a) Underline important keywords in the topic sentence

(b) Circle the beginning of each supporting point

Paragraph #1

New Zealand’s vegetation has developed along unique lines for two main reasons. First of

all, long isolation from other lands has meant that new species of plants have developed

here. For example, eight percent of the flowering plants occur nowhere else. The great

Podocarps (e.g., Rimu, Matai, Miro), whose lineage stretches back almost 200 million

years, flourished to a greater extent in New Zealand than anywhere else. A second factor

in the development of New Zealand plants has been a dynamic and changeable

environment. The stress placed on plants by a wide climate range and a varied geology

has forced them to adapt and diversify. Both location and the physical environment,

therefore, have contributed to the evolution of plant life in this country.

Paragraph #2

Even though globalisation does present problems, the advantages to education are far

more numerous. With the exchange and development of ideas being one of the most

important features of university life, a diverse mix of students of different nationalities is a

distinct advantage. Mason (1998, p.4) cited O’Donnell (1994) in his statement that “the

diversity of participants made for a far richer course than I could ever teach”. Other

advantages mentioned by Mason (1998) include the increased accessibility of education

for students who face geographical of financial restrictions or limitations resulting from

disability. Knowledge that is held by a limited group of academics would also be available

to a wider audience.

The next step is to apply the structure of a paragraph to your own writing. Make sure you

have a topic sentence with appropriate keywords, at least two supporting points, and a

concluding sentence which summarises your paragraph content.

Choose one of the topics below and write approximately 100 words (minimum).

Think of a business in New Zealand (e.g., Fonterra, The Warehouse) or from overseas

(e.g., Samsung, BMW) and discuss the main reasons for its success.

What was the best film of 2016? What was the movie about? Who was in the movie? Give

reasons to explain why it was the best film.

Transition words

To write your topic sentence and follow with supporting points, you will need to use

transition words to smoothly move from one idea to the next.

Below is a list of transition words that may help you use different ways to connect ideas in

your paragraph.

Meaning or

Relationship

Simple

English

Transition or Linking Words

addition and moreover, furthermore, additionally, in addition, complementary to X, besides that, also

alternative, choice or, nor alternatively, on the other hand, similarly, equally, likewise, in the same way, in much the same

way, once again, in like manner

opposition, contrast but

although, though, even though, whereas, while, despite, yet

however, nevertheless, on the other hand, in contrast, on the contrary, conversely, unlike X, in

spite of this/that, even so, instead, compared to X, rather than X, in comparison to X

result, effect so so that, in that, in order to, therefore, thus, hence, as a result, consequently, as a consequence,

due to X

cause because, since, as

for this reason, on that account

condition if, unless

time after, as soon as, before, since, until, when, whenever, during, subsequently, previously,

initially, in the first place, first, secondly, lastly, finally, at the moment, afterwards, then, next

explanation,

exemplification

such as, in other words, that is to say, in particular, to be more specific, this means that, for

instance, as an example, for example, to illustrate, namely, specifically, as a matter of fact,

generally speaking

emphasis indeed, in fact, primarily, foremost, above all, especially, chiefly, more importantly, to tell the

truth, for that matter

summary,

conclusion

in summary, in conclusion, to conclude, in sum, to sum up, in short, in brief, to put it briefly, to

summarise

reference with/in regard to X, regarding X, with/in reference to X, with respect to X, in relation to X, in

terms of X, as noted earlier, as mentioned earlier, as previously mentioned, concerning X,

according to X

Grammar/Vocabulary Tip

When you are reading your articles, look at the words before and after the transition word,

and also look at the punctuation (e.g., comma, semi-colon, or full stop) to help you

understand how these words are used. Try Googling a few transition words and see what

kinds of text and punctuation come up in your search.

Imagine you are writing a paragraph about the effect of the global economy on New

Zealanders. Read the 10 statements and then do the following:

Your paragraph:

(a) must have a topic sentence which states the main focus of the paragraph.

(b) should include transition words to connect the 10 ideas

(d) might add facts or examples to improve the flow of ideas in your paragraph.

(e) might change the vocabulary or grammar to suit your writing style.

1. New Zealanders are starting to make more conscious decisions about their

spending.

2. The cost of petrol is around $2.00/litre.

3. New Zealand is also feeling the effects of an economic downturn.

4. Staple goods, including milk and bread, are much more expensive than last year.

5. The weakening US economy has had a profound effect on the rest of the world.

6. Entertainment expenses, such as movie tickets, have not shown an increase.

7. Retail sales, as indicated by the major shopping malls, are down.

8. Petrol prices have significantly increased over the last year.

9. Saving money is a growing concern amongst New Zealanders.

10. The cost of food, in general, has risen.

Transition words (This/These + noun)

Instead of using words such as “Nevertheless”, or “Furthermore”, another writing technique

is to use the grammatical construction, “This/These + noun” to link the previous sentence

with the next one. It is best to think about the meaning of the first sentence, identify the

main content or nouns/noun phrase, and then choose a suitable synonym (or repetition of

keywords) to link your two sentences.

Repetition of keywords

Choosing an Internet service provider (ISP) involves making decisions about price,

download capacity, fixed term contracts, and reliability of service. These decisions are

important considerations since each person’s needs are different from each other.

This/These + synonym

Choosing an Internet service provider (ISP) involves making decisions about price,

download capacity, fixed term contracts, and reliability of service. These options are

important considerations since each person’s needs are different from each other.

The list below is very general but it may help you get started.

For things that happen For things that we do For things that we think

This + incident action idea

These event move view

occurrence reaction attitude

situation behaviour tendency

circumstances practice perspective

development achievement belief

tendency tendency opinion

Repetition of keywords

One criticism of research based on the observation of natural behaviour is that the

presence of the researcher often affects the behaviour of the participant being observed.

This criticism has resurfaced in recent forums that have discussed the findings of some

recently published reports.

This/These + synonym

One criticism of research based on the observation of natural behaviour is that the

presence of the researcher often affects the behaviour of the participant being observed.

This phenomenon, known as the observer’s paradox, has been well-documented in the

social sciences.

Grammar/Vocabulary Tip

If you want to use the “this/these + noun” technique but are having difficulty finding

suitable nouns, then try the following tip. In Microsoft Word, highlight a word and select

“review  thesaurus” to find synonyms. Then, highlight the entire phrase and copy the text

into Google. If the exact phrase appears in some websites, then the grammar of the

sentence might be correct.

First, circle the idea or noun(s) in the first sentence that could be repeated and then insert

a word (or words) in the second sentence that match its meaning.

1. The condition of the patient has improved greatly in the last twenty-four hours. If this

________________ continues, the patient will soon be able to leave the hospital.

2. The workers are asking for a 20% wage increase, longer vacations, and better medical

insurance. But it is not expected that the company will agree to all of these

______________.

3. Tom’s father stayed calm and did not get angry with Tom when Tom had an accident

and wrecked the family car. This _________________ surprised Tom, who expected an

explosion!

4. In the southern states of the United States, black children were not allowed to go to the

same schools as white children; they were sent to all-black schools. This _____________

continued until the 1960s and ended when the federal government passed laws against

separate schools for blacks and whites.

5. A number of developing countries have tried to introduce birth-control programs for their

people. However, many of these _______________ have failed because the family

planning experts did not know enough about the lives and traditions of the people.

6. In 1960, scientists found the remains of an old European town in Canada. This

_____________ proved that Europeans reached North America in the 11 th century.

7. Some people in the United States believe that the federal government should have

more control over the public schools. But there are others who are completely against this

______________.

8. A large number of people are not happy with the government’s recent actions – it has

introduced new taxes, reduced money for education, and arrested some opponents. The

_____________ has even reached people who, a year ago, supported the government

without question.

9. In Europe, soccer fans often cause trouble on their way to and from professional soccer

games; they fight with fans of other teams, attack people in the streets, and damage cars

and businesses. Americans are hoping that this ____________________________

doesn’t spread to fans of U.S. professional sports.

10. The year 1968 was very bad for politics in the United States. In that year, both Martin

Luther King, Jr., the leader of the civil rights movement, and Bobby Kennedy, who was

running for president, were murdered. These ______________ shocked the country.

Audience (Who will read your writing?)

In academic contexts, your audience is your lecturer or tutor who may have highly specific

or very general knowledge about your topic.

If your reader is…

 

Your lecturer Your 192.102 tutor



S/he may know more than the writer

about the topic

S/he may know less than the writer about

the topic



Use definitions and examples only if

necessary to explain any discipline-

specific terminology

Use more definitions and examples to

explain any discipline-specific terminology

It is difficult to predict how much your lecturer or tutor knows about your topic so the best

policy is to ask him/her questions if unsure. Your decision to include more definitions and

explanations will depend on your assignment question, the word limit, and your

lecturer’s/tutor’s expectations.

Sample from a paper on the global economic recession:

Ferguson made a case for conservative free market capitalism, whilst Krugman, with

support from the other panel members and the majority of the crowd advocated the

Keynesian economics underlying Obama's stimulus bill.

• Is this style of writing more appropriate for an Economics lecturer or a 192.102 tutor?

• This statement assumes the reader has knowledge of key people and concepts. Can

you identify them?

• If you were writing for a 192.102 tutor, what do you need to do to make the writing more

readable?

Excerpt adapted from:

Palevsky, M. (Jan 6, 2009). World’s top economists agree: the global recession will continue.

Retrieved September 1, 2014 from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/01/worlds-top-economists-

agr_n_194313.html

Audience (and Writing Strategy)

The purpose of writing is not only to develop your written communication skills.

Lecturers may look for your ability to do one or more of the following:

Writer’s goal Question for the writer

(a) to show your understanding of course

concepts, terminology, individual’s

contributions, or problem-solving processes

Have you shown in your writing that you have

understood the content of the readings and topics

discussed in class?

(b) to inform or explain something new or in more

detail than the reader has previously known

Have you taught the lecturer something new?

Did the lecturer learn something from reading your

paper?

and logical manner

Have you persuaded or convinced your lecturer based

on the content and argument mentioned in your paper?

(d) to take on a writing assignment and do more

than what is expected

Have you impressed your lecturer with your research,

writing, and critical thinking skills?

Have you shown your potential?

Take a look at the course materials for another paper that you are enrolled in and skim

through the course textbook, the readings, or PowerPoint slides.

• What names or authors are mentioned in your sources, (which the lecturer has signalled

to you as important names to become familiar with)?

How would you explain who they are to your 192.102 tutor by referring to the person’s

title, profession/employment, or achievement?

• What terminology or concepts require an explanation or examples for someone who is

not enrolled in the paper?

Can you choose one or two concepts in another paper and explain them to your tutor?

The writing process

(What steps do I take to write a paper?)

What is the assignment question

asking me to do?

What is the purpose of the assignment?

The assignment

The brief

The writing task



What keywords can help me

do a search for information?

Brainstorm ideas

Planning



How do I search for relevant readings to answer the

assignment’s question?

Library databases

Online search

Reference lists



What information do I need to look for

whilst reading?

Is the information relevant to

the assignment question?

Critical reading

Facts, examples, statistics

Quotes, definitions

Figures, charts, photos



Where would the information likely appear

in my writing?

How should my writing be organised?

Planning and organising

Writing plan



What is the main point that I’m trying to say?

What information from the readings will support my

main point?

Summarising information

Synthesising information from

several sources



How do I repeat someone’s else’s ideas

in my own words?

Writing a first draft

Paraphrasing

Including quotes and references



Are my main points clear? What’s missing?

Is my writing well-organised?

Does it answer the assignment question?

Critical reflection



Do I need to gather more information?

How can I make my writing better?

Writing a second draft

Revising/reorganising



Have I proofread my writing

for language or formatting errors?

Have I included in-text and post-text references?

Are my figures and charts properly referenced?

Proofreading

Formatting

APA Referencing

• Turn to the essay assignment on page 7. Read through the assignment brief to give you

an idea of what you need to do.

• Instead of just writing the deadline for the assignment on your calendar, you can try

writing important dates of tasks (e.g., 1 st draft done) from the previous page. This will

force you to adopt better time management skills.

• If you have any questions about the assignment or about the writing process, you can

email your tutor now (the earlier the better).

Understanding the assignment question

One of the most important steps in academic writing is to understand what the assignment

question is asking you to do. This is difficult since the lecturer may decide to leave the

question open or ask a general question which the student needs to interpret. One

suggestion is to talk to your lecturer or tutor after class and talk about your writing plan to

see if you are on the right track. Below is a list of keywords that may appear in an

assignment question. Ask your tutor if you are unsure about the meaning of these words.

Keyword Explanation

Account for Give reasons and explain why something has occurred

Analyse

Take apart an idea, concept, or statement in order to consider all

the factors it consists of. Answers should be methodical and

logically organised

Assess Judge the worth of something critically

Comment on Discuss, explain, and give your opinion backed by facts or

evidence

Compare Set items side-by-side and show their similarities and

differences. A fair and objective (not subjective) answer is

expected

Contrast Point out the differences between two items

Critique Point out faults, mistakes, or weaknesses as well as any

favourable aspects of the subject, based on facts or evidence

Define Explain the precise meaning of a concept

Describe Give a detailed account of the main characteristics of a subject

Discuss

Explain an item or concept and then give details including

definitions, examples, points for and against, and supporting

explanations

Evaluate

Along with discussing the item or concept, the answer should

make a judgment or reach a conclusion either for or against

Examine Along with analysing the item or concept, the answer should

include points for and against or offer a critical judgment about

the topic

Explain

Provide a detailed account, set or reasons, or explanation for an

item, concept or situation

Generate Propose new ideas or new interpretations about the subject(s)

Illustrate Provide examples to demonstrate, explain, clarify, or give proof

for the subject

Interpret Explain the meaning of something, clarify its meaning and

evaluate the subject based on facts or evidence

Justify Give reasons to support a particular position or argument

(positive or negative)

Prove/Disprove Provide adequate evidence and logical arguments to prove or

disprove something

Relate Identify relationships that exist between two or more subjects

and discuss the factors influencing those relationships.

Review Survey and critically examine a subject

Summarise/Outline Give a summary of the main points about the subject without the

minor details.

State Express the main points clearly and briefly without lengthy

discussion

Trace Describe the development of a theory, person’s life, a process or

product, in a logical or chronological (time) order that shows

important steps or stages.

Searching for and rewriting information

Once you’ve understood what the assignment question is asking you to do, the next step

is to use your research skills to find suitable information (e.g., books, journal articles,

government reports, etc.). You will need to sharpen your critical reading and thinking skills

to sift through the vast amount of data available in the library or on the Internet. Before you

begin writing your first essay draft, you’ll need to think about the following questions:

Where do I look for information?

Can I trust the information?

Which part of the source material should I use?

How do I use my own words to explain what I’ve read?

Finding appropriate sources

Have a copy of your assignment question beside you as you begin your search for

information for your writing assignment. The library has a training workshop to help you

learn how to search for books and online documents. Along with library database search

techniques, digital access to information through the Internet has become a common way

for students to find information. The challenge is to find appropriate information that will not

only answer the assignment question but more importantly convince the reader (i.e., your

lecturer/tutor) with the information that you have found.

Imagine you are writing about the changing immigration patterns in New Zealand.

Discuss the pros and cons of each of the following Internet sources.

How do you know if you can trust the information in the website?

a. A recent NZ Herald newspaper article on migration patterns in NZ

b. A personal blog about immigration experiences in NZ

c. Wikipedia’s web page on New Zealand and the history of immigration

d. A magazine article from the NZ Listener or North and South

e. A comment from a social networking website (Facebook or QQ)

f. Statistics NZ home webpage

g. A pdf file from a report on Korean experiences in NZ

h. An article on NZ immigration from a “.co.nz” or “.com” website

i. A downloadable journal article about immigration issues in Australia

j. Immigration NZ home webpage

While you are reading your online articles, it is best to look at the following checklist of

questions to ask yourself if they will be appropriate or not for your assignment:

Online Article Checklist

 What is the purpose of the website? Who is the article written for?

Is the information there to entertain you, to get you to buy something, or to inform

you about a recent issue or problem?

 Who is the author or authors of the article?

If there is no author, is it a private or public organisation? Is the author or

organisation well known? What else have they written or published?

 When was the article written? What year?

Is the information up-to-date? Is it appropriate for your writing assignment?

 Is the content suitable for my writing assignment?

Is the topic too specific or too general for my writing assignment? Is the language

too technical or too colloquial for an academic paper?

Keyword search

Part of writing a paper is doing good research. One important step to finding good

information is using keywords to help you locate useful articles. If you were asked to

discuss recent changes in immigration patterns in New Zealand, some possible keywords

that you can type into your search would be:

“New Zealand” and “migration”

“New Zealand” and “immigration” and “patterns” or “trends”

“New Zealand” and “immigration” and “quality of life”

“New Zealand” and “migrants” and “statistics” and “2011”

Imagine you are writing an assignment based on the following question:

What factors influence the consumers’ spending behaviour? What is the nature of online

shopping in New Zealand? What ideas can New Zealand businesses adopt to improve the

country’s online retail industry?

What keywords could you use for your search?

Critical reading

Once you have tentatively decided that the article is useful for your assignment, you will

have to understand the content and identify which parts of the content are useful (e.g., a

definition, a statistic, a quote, a fact or piece of information).

Imagine you are writing a paper on how technology is helping to improve the health of

humans. Notice how the reader has underlined words to understand the content of the

article and how the reader has summarised each paragraph with a comment or note in the

margin. What information in the article could you use for your writing assignment?

Reader’s notes Article content

when – future

who

how – using rats

how – using computers

results – shows brain activity

why – 1. To understand how the

brain works

why – 2. To study brain

disorders/diseases

adv – no experiments on animals

The world's first synthetic brain could be built within 10 years,

giving us an unprecedented insight into the nature of

consciousness and our perception of reality.

Scientists working on the Blue Brain Project in Switzerland are

the first to attempt to "reverse-engineer" the mammalian brain by

recreating the behaviour of billions of neurons in a computer.

Professor Henry Markham, director of the project at the Ecole

Polytechnique Fédérale de Lausanne, has already simulated

parts of the neocortex, the most 'modern' region of the brain,

which evolved rapidly in mammals to cope with the demands of

parenthood and social situations.

Markham's team created a 3D simulation of around 10,000 brain

cells to mimic the behaviour of the rat neocortex. The way all the

cells connect and send signals to each other is just as important

as how many there are.

"You need one laptop to do all the calculations for one neuron,

so you need ten thousand laptops," Markham told the TEDGlobal

conference in Oxford yesterday. Instead, he uses an IBM Blue

Gene supercomputer.

The artificial brain is already revealing some of the inner

workings of the most impressive 1.5kg of biological tissue ever to

evolve. Show the brain a virtual image and its neurons flicker

with electrical activity as the image is processed.

Ultimately, scientists want to use synthetic brains to understand

how sensory information from the real world is interpreted and

stored, and how consciousness arises. They may also give

scientists a new way to study brain disorders and

neurodegenerative diseases like Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s

without having to experiment on animals.

Excerpt adapted from:

Swiss scientists aim to build a synthetic brain within a decade

Guardian.co.uk, Ian Sample, July 23, 2009

Downloaded September 20, 2010

Imagine you are writing an assignment that discusses the positive and negative aspects of

globalisation.

Circle and underline keywords and use the left margin to write notes to help you

comprehend the essential points of the article.

What content (e.g., a definition, a statistic, a quote, a fact or piece of information) could

you use for your writing assignment?

Globalisation came to be seen as more than simply a way of

doing business, or running financial markets – it became a

process. So how does the globalised market work? It is modern

communications that make it possible for the British service

sector to deal with its customers through a call centre in India,

or for a sportswear manufacturer to design its products in

Europe, make them in south-east Asia and sell them in North

America.

But this is where the anti-globalisation movement finds reasons

to object. If these practices replace economic life with an

economy that is heavily influenced or controlled from overseas,

then the creation of a globalised economic model and the

process of globalisation can also be seen as a surrender of

power to the corporations, or a means of keeping poorer nations

in their place.

Not everyone agrees that globalisation is necessarily evil, or

that globalised corporations are running the lives of individuals

or are more powerful than nations. Some say that the spread of

globalisation, free markets and free trade into the developing

world is the best way to beat poverty – the only problem is that

free markets and free trade do not yet truly exist.

Globalisation can be seen as a positive, negative or even

marginal process. And regardless of whether it works for good

or bad, globalisation's exact meaning will continue to be the

subject of debate among those who oppose, support or simply

observe it.

Excerpt adapted from:

Aspects of globalisation

Guardian.co.uk, Simon Jeffery, October 31, 2002

Downloaded March 2, 2005

Critical reading

To get started on your assignment, you will need to find relevant information from various

sources (books, journals, online publications) to provide support for your statements. If

your reading skills are poor, then you will not be able to identify important information

which will make your writing less convincing.

Imagine you are writing an assignment that discusses the challenges that small

businesses face in New Zealand.

Circle and underline keywords and use the left margin to write notes to help you

comprehend the essential points of the article.

What content (e.g., a definition, a statistic, a quote, a fact or piece of information) could

you use for your writing assignment?

When asked earlier this year to name the biggest problem

facing their companies, the answer from a group of 3,530 small-

business owners nationwide was not finding good employees,

competition from overseas or even high taxes. Their top

concern was the expense of being in business, and the

entrepreneurs singled out those factors “that are difficult to

control, such as health insurance, energy and inflation.”

A survey is conducted every four years, and the high cost of

health care has been the No. 1 in the last five surveys. “For four

years, the economy provided a good, stable foundation for

small-business owners to do business, but as it started to take a

negative turn over the last several months, they felt the effects

of rising costs of doing business,” said Bruce D. Phillips, senior

fellow at the business federation’s Research Foundation and co-

author of the report with Holly Wade, a policy analyst for the

federation. “As the economic outcome remains uncertain, small-

business owners are searching for innovative ways to reduce

expenses and increase sales.”

Common sense says employees who are healthier and in better

shape file fewer claims than those who are not, reducing the

cost of their employer’s insurance. A number of employers are

offering incentives for their workers to improve their lifestyles.

There is one simple if annoying way to reduce your company’s

energy costs: simply unplug office machines when they are not

in use (like when you go home for the day). Turning the devices

off is not enough because they will continue to function to some

degree. (The clock on the microwave in the company kitchen is

still on.)

Excerpt adapted from:

Small Business Problems

NY Times, Paul B. Brown, August 19, 2008

Downloaded September 20, 2010

Summary writing

After you’ve identified the content that you would like to include in your writing, you’ll need

to plan on how to include this information in your paragraphs. Since copying every word

from the original reading source is not acceptable in academic writing (i.e., known as

plagiarism), you must explain what you have read by: (a) summarising your information,

or (b) paraphrasing the content.

Summarising information

As an academic writer, your job is to help the reader understand the content on a topic

from a variety of sources. If your writing isn’t clear and concise, the reader would probably

rather read the original texts instead. As a result, your goal is to summarise information

from one or more articles by stating the main points but not all the minor details. The

general steps for summarising an article are listed below.

1. First, read your (essay or report) assignment question to

2. Read and understand the text by circling/underling key points or writing notes in the

margin.

3. Identify the main points that answer the assignment question.

4. Write a first draft of your summary which includes just the main points.

Your summary may include answers to the following questions:

What is the main problem or issue?

Who is involved? Is it a person, a group of persons, or a country?

Where did the problem or issue happen?

When did it happen?

Why did it happen? Is there a cause? Is there a reason?

How long…? How much…? How often…?

Other statements to think about mentioning in your summary are:

The author/article gives a broad overview of X.

The author/article provides an in-depth examination of X.

The author/article clearly states the importance of X.

The author/article introduces an alternative or opposing view of X.

The author/article supports a theory or argument about X.

5. Revise your summary after you’ve written the other paragraphs in your essay or

report.

Imagine you are writing a paper that asks you to discuss the consequences of water

scarcity in the world with a specific emphasis on the problem of decreasing food harvests.

You found the article (on the next page), “Water scarcity now bigger threat than financial

crisis. Notice how the reader is trying to summarise the main points whilst keeping in mind

the assignment question.

Consequence:

Destabilising of

the world

economy

Consequence:

Conflict over

resources

Consequence:

Destabilising of

the world

economy

Explanation of

the water supply

and demand

Explanation of

the water supply

and demand

Consequence:

Decreasing world

harvests

Evidence of water

scarcity

Consequence:

Droughts

Consequence:

Destabilising of

the world

economy

Consequence:

Conflict over

resources

Consequence:

Conflict over

resources

Humanity is facing "water bankruptcy" as a result of a crisis even greater than the

financial meltdown now destabilising the global economy, two authoritative new

reports show. They add that it is already beginning to take effect, and there will be

no way of bailing the earth out of water scarcity.

The two reports – one by the world's foremost international economic forum and

the other by 24 United Nations agencies – presage the opening tomorrow of the

most important conference on the looming crisis for three years. The World Water

Forum, which will be attended by 20,000 people in Istanbul, will hear stark

warnings of how half the world's population will be affected by water shortages in

just 20 years' time, with millions dying and increasing conflicts over dwindling

resources.

A report by the World Economic Forum, which runs the annual Davos meetings of

the international business and financial elite, says that lack of water, will "soon tear

into various parts of the global economic system" and "start to emerge as a

headline geopolitical issue".

It adds: "The financial crisis gives us a stark warning of what can happen if known

economic risks are left to fester. We are living in a water 'bubble' as unsustainable

and fragile as that which precipitated the collapse in world financial markets. We

are now on the verge of bankruptcy in many places with no way of paying the debt

back."

The Earth – a blue-green oasis in the limitless black desert of space – has a finite

stock of water. There is precisely the same amount of it on the planet as there was

in the age of the dinosaurs, and the world's population of more than 6.7 billion

people has to share the same quantity as the 300 million global inhabitants of

Roman times.

Water use has been growing far faster than the number of people. During the 20th

century the world population increased fourfold, but the amount of freshwater that it

used increased nine times over. Already 2.8 billion people live in areas of high

water stress, the report calculates, and this will rise to 3.9 billion – more than half

the expected population of the world – by 2030. By that time, water scarcity could

cut world harvests by 30 per cent – equivalent to all the grain grown in the US and

India – even as human numbers and appetites increase.

Some 60 per cent of China's 669 cities are already short of water. The huge Yellow

River is now left with only 10 per cent of its natural flow, sometimes failing to reach

the sea altogether. And the glaciers of the Himalayas, which act as gigantic water

banks supplying two billion people in Asia, are melting ever faster as global

warming accelerates. Meanwhile devastating droughts are crippling Australia and

Texas.

The World Water Development Report, compiled by 24 UN agencies under the

auspices of Unesco, adds that shortages are already beginning to constrain

economic growth in areas as diverse and California, China, Australia, India and

Indonesia. The report, which will be published tomorrow, also expects water

conflicts to break out in the Middle East, Haiti, Sri Lanka, Colombia and other

countries.

"Conflicts about water can occur at all scales," it warns. "Hydrological shocks"

brought about by climate change are likely to "increase the risk of major national

and international security threats".

Excerpt adapted from:

Water scarcity now bigger threat than financial crisis

The Independent, Geoffrey Lean, Environment Editor, 15 March 2009

http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/climate-change/water-scarcity-now-bigger-threat-than-financial-

crisis-1645358.html

After rereading your assignment question (i.e., Discuss the consequences of water

scarcity in the world with a specific emphasis on the problem of decreasing food

harvests.), the next step is to think of a writing plan for your summary. Notice how the

writer has decided to structure his/her paragraph in the following plan.

Topic sentence: Use keywords that relate to the assignment question

Supporting point #1: Explain how water scarcity affects harvests

Supporting point #2: Explain how population growth affects harvests

Concluding sentence: Explain the significance of the problem

In the following summary, circle the parts of the paragraph (i.e., topic sentence, supporting

point #1, supporting point #2, and the concluding sentence).

A major consequence of water scarcity in the world is the decrease in food harvests.

Farmers need water to irrigate their crops. As water becomes scarce, farmers cannot grow

the same amount of food as before. “Water scarcity could cut world harvests by 30 per

cent” by 2030 (Lean, 2009, para. 6). 21 years is not a long time from now before there is a

big drop in food production. Another related point is the increasing population of the world,

which will be a big problem for farmers. Some countries that have large, expanding

populations (e.g., China, India) will experience great challenges with feeding their people.

Other countries, which have very little land for growing food, will pay a lot of money for

imported food. Water scarcity has a huge impact on food production and this will be a

major problem for many countries around the world.

Read the following article on the next page about alcohol use amongst college students.

Write a paragraph summary for the following assignment question. Explain the issues that

are of concern for health professionals/tertiary educators and the factors that influence

alcohol consumption.

Introduction

Public health concern about alcohol consumption and associated risk

behaviours in young people is increasing, especially among college

students who, in some countries, appear to be at particularly high risk.

Indeed, the leading cause of injury and death among college students

and young adults in the USA is reported to be binge drinking.

Studies from different parts of the world have shown that college

students have a higher prevalence of alcohol drinking and alcohol-use

disorders, than noncollege youth. This could be attributed to the well

established developmental phase college students go through, in which

they are away from home, family and longstanding friendships.

Throughout their college years, students pass through a phase of

vulnerability (intellectually, emotionally and socially), in a new

environment characterized by considerable peer influence, and often

aggressive promotion of alcoholic beverages. In addition to the college

setting being a unique environment to which a large proportion of young

people are exposed en masse, nearly all of the world's future leaders,

policy-makers, and healthcare providers will have passed through the

college system as young people.

College student drinking has been studied extensively in North America

and this problem has received frequent media attention, research

funding and intervention programming. Several factors have been found

to be associated with alcohol use, abuse and dependence, such as

genetic factors, environmental factors, emotional and psychological

instability, gender, sexual identity, cognitive factors, peer pressure,

family history and achievement. Although the problem of alcohol use is

evident in most countries of the world, there is a comparatively small

amount of research from a few European countries and from

Australasia. Until recently little was known about the patterns of college

student drinking in many parts of the world, most notably in the Arab

region where cultural and religious affiliations of students have

theoretically an important impact on alcohol use: not only does the

religion of Islam (most common in the Arab region) forbid the use of

alcohol, but in addition many Arab countries forbid alcohol use by law.

Despite these norms and legal restrictions, studies have revealed the

presence of problems related to alcohol use among college students in

Arab countries, especially in men, such as the use of other substances,

unsafe sex, low academic achievements and conduct problems.

Intervention during the formative college years may present an

opportunity to attenuate the risk of long-term drinking problems.

Accordingly, the present review has an international focus; it includes

studies of prevalence, risk factors, and intervention from Africa, Asia,

Australasia, Europe and South America.

A Medline (PubMed) search was conducted using the keywords student,

college or university, drinking or alcohol, and covering all published

articles in 2005 and 2006. An initial list of 132 abstracts was reviewed,

and 24 articles were identified and retrieved as relevant to this paper.

The present review mainly tackles the prevalence and gender

differences of alcohol use in the past year across the different countries,

students' knowledge and attitudes towards alcohol, risk factors and

treatment of alcohol use. The articles included in this review concern

student populations in Africa (n = 2), Asia (n = 2), Australasia (n = 10),

Europe (n = 5), and South America (n = 5). For the sake of

completeness, we have included two studies from 2004 from two Arab

countries.

Edited excerpt from:

Alcohol use among college students: An international perspective

Elie Karam; Kypros Kypri; Mariana Salamoun (2007)

Current Opinion in Psychiatry, 20 (3), 213-221.

Write a paragraph summary for the reading above. As a reminder, summaries do not

include all the details of the original text. As a writer, your main goal is to summarise

information that is important for answering the assignment question. Use the following

steps to help you draft a summary:

1. Reread the assignment question.

2. Circle/underline/write notes to identify content relevant to answering the question

3. Draft a plan to help you organise your summary

4. Write a paragraph that answers the assignment question.

Paraphrasing information

Along with summarising information, another way of transferring an author’s ideas into

your writing is by paraphrasing. Writers use synonyms, antonyms, or change the structure

of the sentence to express the same ideas as the original information.

Unacceptable paraphrases

Read the original text and compare it with the two paraphrases below. Which one is

acceptable? Why is the other paraphrase unacceptable?

Original text:

Incidental learning from guessing from context is the most important of all the sources of

vocabulary learning. This is particularly true for native speakers learning their first

language. It should also be true for second language speakers, but many do not

experience the conditions that are needed for this kind of learning to occur.

Learning vocabulary from context is often seen as something opposed to the direct

intentional learning and teaching of vocabulary (Kelly, 1990). This is an unfortunate

viewpoint and the position taken in this book is that they are complementary activities,

each one enhancing the learning that comes from the other. A well balanced learning

programme has an appropriate balance of opportunities to learn from message-focussed

activities and from direct study of language items, with direct study of language items

occupying no more than 25% of the total learning programme (Nation, 1999).

Paraphrase #1:

Learning vocabulary from guessing from context is the most important source of learning

vocabulary. This is especially the case for native speakers learning their first language.

Second language learners should also do this, but they don’t always have the necessary

condition for this. Direct intentional learning and teaching of vocabulary from context are

often seen as opposed to each other. However, they are complementary activities, and

enhance each other. A good language learning programme has a balance of opportunities

to learn from message-focussed activities and direct study of language items. Direct study

of language items should not be more than 25% of the learning programme (Nation,1999).

Paraphrase #2:

Nation (1999) argues that the most important way to learn vocabulary is to learn it by

guessing the meaning of words from their context. He believes that all native speakers

learn vocabulary this way when they learn their first language. Second language learners

should also learn vocabulary this way, but they don’t always have good opportunities to do

this. A good language learning programme will have a balance of opportunities to learn

vocabulary by guessing from context and direct study of vocabulary words and at least

75% of vocabulary study should be by guessing from context.

Paraphrasing a sentence

Below are some steps to help you paraphrase the author’s words:

Original text The resulting fires from the earthquake went unabated for 10 hours.

Source: (Smith, 2006)

Step 1:

Identify the main

(and supporting

points) of the text

• There was a fire after the earthquake.

• The fires didn’t stop for 10 hours.

Step 2:

Find synonyms

and antonyms for

keywords

unabated

• didn’t stop, continued, without any reduction in

intensity or amount

earthquake • natural disaster, catastrophe

resulting • as a result of, occurred afterwards

10 hours • half a day, many hours

Step 3:

Use your own

words to rewrite

the text.

The earthquake caused fires, which continued to burn for many hours

Step 4:

Revise and add

the author’s

surname and

publication year.

The fires burned for almost half a day after the earthquake. (Smith,

2006).

Paraphrase the following sentence using your own words.

Original text The cogent commentary of the media has placed much pressure on

the shoulders of the government to make substantial reformations

to their building policies.

Source: (Smith, 2006)

Step 1:

Identify the main

(and supporting

points) of the text

Step 2:

Find synonyms

and antonyms for

keywords

Step 3:

Use your own

words to rewrite

the text.

Step 4:

Revise and add

the author’s

surname and

publication year.

Paraphrasing an entire passage

Paraphrasing longer pieces of text is more difficult than paraphrasing a single sentence

but the process is similar. Before you identify the main and supporting points of the original

text, look again at your assignment question. Ask yourself, what points do I need to take

from the reading to answer the assignment question? Paraphrasing all the points in the

original text may not be necessary depending on what the focus of your essay or report is.

Original text Young people are not only vulnerable to the vast changes brought on

by consumer society, but can also be the key change agents in

society (Oxfam, 2002). Despite this, young people are often ignored

both in literature and in the realm of political decision-making. Young

people may be a critical group in the drive to reorient consumption

patterns towards sustainability. They represent a large proportion of

total consumption expenditure in affluent societies, and although they

are often unaware of it, possess substantial power over the market.

Industry experts estimate the size of combined youth spending power

in 11 major economies to be in excess of US $750 billion (Brown,

2002). Edited source: (Fien, Neil, & Bentley, 2008)

Step 1:

Identify the main

(and supporting

points) of the text

• Changes in society have influenced today’s youth.

• Youth can also influence society to make it more sustainable

• Young people are not considered important.

• But they are important because they spend a lot in wealthy

countries.

• Young people are not aware of the power they have.

• Brown (2002) reports that youth spend US $750 billion.

Step 2:

Find synonyms

and antonyms for

keywords

Vulnerable to

the vast

changes...

• X influences/affects Y, Y is influenced/affected by

X, Y is vulnerable to X, X has an impact on Y, Y

follows changes in X

Key change

agents

• Consumers, key participants, decision-makers,

Critical

group, large

proportion,

• Important, significant, major, substantial

Consumption

patterns

• Habits, trends, purchasing decisions

Step 3:

Use your own

words to rewrite

the text.

Changes in society have influenced today’s youth but young people

can also influence society. The youth in wealthy countries have been

estimated to have spent over US $750 billion. Young people are not

aware of the power they have. They can alter society’s spending

habits by choosing more sustainable goods and services.

Step 4:

Revise and add

the author’s

surname and

publication year.

Young consumers are not only affected by changes in a

consumption-oriented society but also are oblivious to how much

impact they have on the market place. Young people’s purchasing

decisions, in wealthy societies, have been estimated to amount to

over US $750 billion. Their spending power is often overlooked and

could have the potential to change society towards a more

sustainable future (Fien, Neil, & Bentley, 2008).

Imagine that you are writing an essay on the issues surrounding the spending habits of

young adults. Paraphrase the following paragraphs using your own words.

Original text

The purpose of this paper is to explore consumption habits of the young adult market, as

they leave home and enter into a world of personal fiscal responsibility. Prior research in

this area is limited; however those studies, which have focused on young adult

consumption have found increasing impulsive consumption and use of credit amongst this

generation. This study seeks to extend research in this area by exploring further how

young consumers are spending, their motivations for impulsive consumption choices and

their attitudes towards debt.

The paper considers the influence of peers and society pressures as a whole in

encouraging young adults develop particular consumption habits and attitudes to money

and debt. It highlights key aspects of the “culture of consumption” that young consumers

are part of today and indicates an attitude to debt that is quite different to generations

before.

The paper finds that the young consumers studied show a relaxed attitude to debt and

consumer purchasing, with non-essential consumption seen as “deserved” and a “reward”

for behaviour such as studying or working. Social pressure is found to be the key driver of

consumption choices in this group, with the majority of spending decisions made

impulsively.

Edited source: Sarah Penman and Lisa McNeill (2008). Spending their way to adulthood: consumption

outside the nest. Young consumers: Insight and ideas for responsible marketers, 9 (3), 155-169.

Step 1:

Identify the main (and supporting points) of the text

Step 2:

Find synonyms and antonyms for keywords

Step 3:

Use your own words to rewrite the text.

Step 4:

Revise and add the author’s surname and publication year.

Essay structure

An essay is made up of several paragraphs (see Figure 1 below). The structure of an

essay is similar to a paragraph since they both mention the focus of the topic in the

beginning, provide supporting points, examples, and information in the middle, and

conclude or summarise at the end.

Figure 1: A comparison of paragraph and essay structures (Oshima & Hogue, 2006, p.57)

Essay Structure

Introduction

General statements

Thesis statement

Body

Topic sentence

Supporting point #1

Supporting point #2

Supporting point #3

Concluding sentence

Paragraph Structure

Topic sentence Topic sentence

Supporting point #1 Supporting point #1

Supporting point #2 Supporting point #2

Supporting point #3 Supporting point #3

Concluding sentence Concluding sentence

Topic sentence

Supporting point #1

Supporting point #2

Supporting point #3

Concluding sentence

Conclusion

Restatement of thesis statement

Summary of main points

Final comment

Before you write the essay introduction, it is important for you to analyse the assignment

question first. If you are able to understand what the question is asking you to do, then you

will be better able to organise your ideas into an essay or writing plan.

Read the three assignment questions below.

Circle the command verbs (i.e., the verbs that tell you what you need to do) and

brainstorm the kinds of content that you would need to include in your essay.

1. Vodafone, Telecom, and 2 degrees are the three major mobile phone companies in

NZ. Explain the evolution of each company and relate any significant events in their

company histories to their current standing in this competitive market.

Essay content?

2. The rise in property values in New Zealand has caused housing shortages in the

major urban centres. Discuss the impact of the sharp rise in property values on New

Zealand citizens and on the country’s economy.

Essay content?

3. Samsung and Hyundai are two Korean companies but have both been very

successful internationally. Compare and contrast the two with respect to any factors

that have influenced their success.

Essay content?

Essay plans or writing outlines

Once you’ve understood what the assignment is asking you to do, the next step is to draw

up a plan or outline of your ideas. This plan will change after you start researching

information for your essay. Your plan will become more focussed after you realise that you

can’t find information on a specific topic or because you have found a lot of information on

a slightly different but relevant topic.

Compare the two essay plans for the same assignment question.

How are they different? Which one do you prefer and why?

Can you think of any limitations or problems with any of the outlines?

Assignment question:

Vodafone, Telecom, and 2 degrees are the three major mobile phone companies in NZ.

Explain the evolution of each company and relate any significant events in their company

histories to their current standing in this competitive market.

Essay plan #1 (individual descriptions of each company):

Introduction (paragraph 1)

Body (paragraph 2): Vodafone’s history and significant events

(paragraph 3): Telecom’s history and significant events

(paragraph 4): 2 degrees’ history and significant events

(paragraph 5): Current market share

Conclusion (paragraph 6)

Essay plan #2 (interwoven comparisons):

Introduction (paragraph 1)

Body (paragraph 2): History of the 3 companies

(paragraph 3): Events and obstacles in each company’s history

(paragraph 4): Marketing and management

(paragraph 5): Future challenges

Conclusion (paragraph 6)

Write an essay plan or outline for one of the assignment questions below to show the

content that you think will best answer the assignment question. Don’t worry about the

content in the essay introduction or conclusion. Use as many paragraphs as you wish but

the body should not be less than three paragraphs.

Assignment question #1:

Choose a business (e.g., Fonterra, Foodstuffs, Telecom) or a type of business (e.g., café,

online store) in New Zealand that is successful. Discuss the main reasons for its success

locally or internationally.

Introduction (paragraph 1)

paragraph 2: __________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

paragraph 3: __________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

paragraph 4: __________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

paragraph 5: __________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

paragraph 6: __________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

Conclusion (paragraph 7)

Assignment question #2:

Compare and contrast the Internet retail market (e.g., food, clothing, electronic products) in

New Zealand with another country. What factors influence the nature of online shopping in

New Zealand? What ideas can New Zealand businesses adopt to improve the country’s

online retail industry?

Introduction (paragraph 1)

paragraph 2: __________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

paragraph 3: __________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

paragraph 4: __________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

paragraph 5: __________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

paragraph 6: __________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

Conclusion (paragraph 7)

Planning your essay structure

Venn diagrams (i.e., two overlapping circles or ovals) are often used to help writers

structure or plan out their essay assignment. Although two different groups of people may

have different views on an issue, they may also agree on a certain aspect or point of view.

In the diagram below, similarities in thinking or points of agreement would be written down

in the overlapping or centre portion of the two circles. Any differences in thinking would be

written in the left and right sides of the circles.

For your essay on topic X, you could use the diagram below to help you list points where

the two sides have different and similar views.

It is important for your essay assignment that you compare the two viewpoints and not just

describe them separately. Look at the two essay plans for the topic of banning junk food

vending machines from primary schools. Which one do you prefer?

Essay plan #1 = Paragraphs are organised according to viewpoints of individuals/groups

Introduction (paragraph 1)

Body (paragraph 2): Parents’ view

(paragraph 3): Schools’ view

(paragraph 4): Gov’t health board’s view

Conclusion (paragraph 5)

Essay plan #2 = Paragraphs are organised according to topics or issues

Introduction (paragraph 1)

Body (paragraph 2): Childrens’ nutritional needs

(paragraph 3): School behaviour

(paragraph 4): A source of school funding

Conclusion (paragraph 5)

Well-written paragraphs tend to focus on one “thing” (whether it is one factor/cause/issue,

or one person/product/company, or one idea/concept/theme). Poorly written paragraphs

jump from one topic to another within a single paragraph. Recall the paragraph writing task

about the best movie in 2009 to see why it is important to stick to one topic in each

paragraph.

Writing your essay

Essay introductions

Introductions should clearly tell the reader what your essay is about and what content you

are going to discuss. If your reader is unclear about what your essay’s focus is, then your

introduction needs to be rewritten. There are generally three parts to an essay

introduction: a hook, general comments, and a thesis statement. The hook is optional

depending on who the essay is written for.

1 Hook Introduce the general topic of the

essay

General knowledge

2 General comments Give information about the

importance of the topic or the

relevance of the topic to the

reader.

3 Thesis statement State the specific focus of your

essay

Specific information

Introduction (Hook)

The very first sentence or sentences in your essay introduction is your “hook”. It hooks or

grabs the reader’s attention and pulls the reader into the essay. It is important to choose

your words carefully to suit the reader’s level of knowledge and understanding of your

essay topic. See the section on understanding your audience for a reminder.

Can you explain why the two opening lines for an essay on real estate taxation are

written differently?

Opening lines in an introduction written for a 192.102 tutor

Although urban centres in New Zealand are currently experiencing a housing shortage,

some property analysts have suggested the implementation of a capital gains tax on

housing as part of the solution. Under this government-run system, owners of two or

more properties will be taxed on properties that they do not reside in.

Opening lines in an introduction written for the property analyst lecturer

Analysts have argued that the capital gains tax on housing does not alleviate the

problems of government expenditure and inflationary pressures (Turner, 2009). Global

deregulation has led to the reduction of interest margins on housing loans thereby

stimulating demand for investment property.

There are other techniques for writing hooks, which include starting with a definition,

asking a question, or beginning with a quote from a respected or notable person. Please

be careful with using these writing techniques since they can cause confusion instead of

increasing clarity.

1. Be careful with starting with a definition.

The potential problem is that your reader may not understand overly technical or

discipline-specific language.

Securities other than shares consist of bills, bonds, certificates of deposit,

commercial paper, debentures, and similar instruments normally traded in the

financial markets (OECD, 2001).

2. Be careful with starting with a question.

The potential problem is that your questions may be too vague or too specific.

Do you like sugar? (too vague)

Do you know the difference between glucose, dextrose, fructose, galactose,

maltose and lactose? (too specific)

3. Be careful with starting with a quotation.

The potential problem is that your quote may not be easy to understand since it is out of

context. The content of the quote could refer to a topic unfamiliar to the reader.

Prime Minister John Key stated that “they don't need to go up that quickly - there is a

way of resolving that issue and I think it is dealing with those structural issues, which

is basically supply” (Quilliam, 2014, para. 7).

Hooks can be very effective or very ineffective depending on who is reading the paper.

Your 192.102 tutor will probably not understand highly specific, technical vocabulary or

concepts, so it is best to use simpler words to start off your essay. For your other

university courses, you might choose to use a more academic-sounding hook since your

lecturer may have expert knowledge on your topic.

Instead of using definitions, questions, or quotations, you could write statements that

provide some details about:

• a problem or issue (a current situation that the reader is aware of)

• an alternative or opposing view of a topic (that the reader is familiar with)

• a comparison between past and present (by referring to well-known events)

• a combination of the above (e.g., past and present problems)

Hooks are more important in other types of writing (e.g., novel writing) where it is vitally

important to attract the reader’s attention. In academic writing, hooks are often blended

with general statements (see the next section).

Introduction (General statements)

An essay introduction should not only say what the topic is, but why the topic is important

for the reader. You must convince the reader that your topic is important, relevant, and

current. The following are some techniques for emphasising the importance of your topic in

an essay introduction.

1. Tell the reader how the topic or issue has changed (either recently or over a long period

of time). Explain whether the change is good or bad. Explain the changes in topic X.

Recent advances in technology have …

Increasing levels of pollution have …

2. State a current or past problem. Explain why the problem should receive attention now.

The effects of the financial crisis have influenced…

Public opposition to mining in New Zealand has grown …

3. Tell the reader about our current knowledge of the topic. Explain information that may

be new to the reader.

Recent research has suggested that …

Very little information is available about …

General statements should also convince the reader about the importance of the topic by

referring to authority (by citing your sources) and not using personal opinion. Be careful

not to use expressions such as “I think” or other words that indicate your own personal

view of the world.

Compare the following two sentences. What techniques does the writer of the second

opening sentence use to make it more convincing?

In the past several years, I think it’s getting harder to find more affordable places to rent.

A public opinion survey conducted by Housing New Zealand (2015) between

2011 and 2014 reported that the length of time to find affordable rental accommodation

has increased substantially.

Below are some examples of simple opening statements. Imagine that you want to revise

the following statements to make them more convincing. Can you identify what the

problem is with these statements? What types of content would you need to include to

make your statements more persuasive?

1. I think young people use the Internet more than watching television.

2. New Zealand is a country of immigrants.

3. Everyone in Korea has a mobile phone.

4. Drink driving is a problem in New Zealand.

5. My friend could not get a job because he did not have NZ experience.

Introduction (Thesis statements)

Along with writing a hook and general statements in your introductory paragraph, you will

need to include a thesis statement. This sentence or sentences are very important

because it tells the reader what the specific contents of the essay are. Look at the figure

below which shows that you should aim to mention the specific themes, aspects or content

related to topic X in your thesis statement.

The thesis statement is also a roadmap which lets the reader know what lies ahead. It tells

the reader how the essay is sequentially organised. In the figure below, the “1” refers to

the content in the paragraph that follows the introduction, the “2” refers to the content in

the next paragraph or section, and the “3” refers to the content in the final paragraph of the

essay.

Topic X consists of 1, 2, and 3

What is the

issue or problem?

What aspects of the issue are

you going to talk about?

What are the main themes of

your essay?

Read the two thesis statements below. Both thesis statements tell the reader what the

topic of the essay is but they are in need of improvement. Can you explain what is wrong

with the two examples? How could you make these thesis statements stronger?

Thesis statement #1:

In this paper, I will discuss China’s one-child policy.

Thesis statement #2:

The one-child policy in China does not work and the effects of this policy will be

discussed.

Analysing essay introductions

Below are some examples of (rather short) essay introductions. For each of the writing

samples below:

(a) Identify whether the language is appropriate for a general reader or for a lecturer

specialising in a particular discipline

(b) Look at the general statements in the introduction and identify why the topic might

be important or interesting for the reader

focus of the essay is. Is it clear?

(d) Identify any problems with the introduction and make suggestions for improving its

clarity.

Sample introduction #1:

Learning a language is a long and difficult process. Research has shown that good

language learners have a number of characteristics that help them achieve their goals.

These characteristics include being active, being independent, making opportunities to use

the language and being able to accept uncertainty. Each of these four areas will be

discussed with examples from my own experience as a language learner.

Sample introduction #2:

Zooxanthellae and coral share a symbiotic relationship. When there are significant

increases in light or temperature, the zooxanthellae perform too much photosynthesis and

the coral expels the algae. The whitening or bleaching of coral reefs occur. It is a problem

linked to global warming. In this paper, we will look at the problems facing coral reef

ecosystems. There is one solution to this problem. It has limited success.

Sample introduction #3:

Mobile phones have drastically altered our way of communicating and socialising with

others. Although the advantages of having a cellphone are widely known, very little is

known about the hazards of its use. Recent research suggests that prolonged cellphone

use may lead to serious health side effects (Johnston, 2009). This paper will discuss the

types of health issues reported in the literature and whether these claims are warranted.

The following writing task is aimed at getting you to practice the skills of analysing an

assignment question, creating an essay plan or outline, and then drafting a rough

introduction.

Step 1: Analyse the following assignment question

Graduates of tertiary level education are experiencing difficulty finding employment in New

Zealand. Discuss the issues faced by graduates and provide possible solutions to this

increasing problem.

Step 2: Draft a rough essay plan with possible topics for each paragraph

Introduction (paragraph 1):

paragraph 2:

paragraph 3:

paragraph 4:

paragraph 5:

Conclusion (paragraph 6):

Step 3: Write a introduction that includes:

• a hook (for your 192.102 tutor’s level of knowledge of the topic)

• general statements (i.e., explain the importance of the topic)

• a thesis statement (i.e., state the essay’s specific focus)

The body of the essay

Topic sentences

The function of a topic sentence in paragraph writing is to tell the reader what the specific

focus of the paragraph is. In an academic essay, topic sentences also have a second

function, which is to relate the content of your paragraph to the assignment question.

Notice how some of the keywords in the topic sentences are similar in meaning to the

keywords in the assignment question.

Assignment question:

Choose a business (e.g., Fonterra, Foodstuffs, Telecom) or a type of business (e.g., cafe,

online store) in New Zealand that is successful. Discuss the main reasons for its success

locally or internationally.

Topic sentence for paragraph 2 after the introduction:

One of the reasons for the Warehouse’s success is...........

Topic sentence for paragraph 3:

A second factor to explain the Warehouse’s long history of market dominance is .........

Topic sentence for paragraph 4:

The Warehouse’s unique management structure has enabled the company to surpass its

competitors.

Topic sentence for paragraph 5:

To achieve success in an ever-changing global market, the Warehouse has used ...

Your first sentence at the beginning of each paragraph should be clear. Explain why the

following topic sentences need revision.

1. The Warehouse is a successful company in New Zealand.

2. The Warehouse Group Ltd.’s website states that its “dividend policy is to pay out

approximately 90% of adjusted earnings.” (Warehouse, 2011, para 1)

3. This is a major reason that explains why the Warehouse has maintained growth in

the last decade.

Supporting points

After you begin your paragraph with a topic sentence, the next step is to write supporting

points, details, facts, or information that will convince the reader. Personal essays can

include examples from your own experiences but academic essays should include

references to a published authority such as an academic author, a scientist, an

organisation, or an expert on the topic.

Compare the first and second drafts on a paragraph about global warming. The writer

revised the paragraph to include references to authority to make it sound more convincing.

Can you underline and explain the changes?

First draft:

One effect of global warming is the melting of the ice caps. For example, ice sheets at the

north and south pole are melting at a fast rate. This has caused sea levels to rise. Britain is

planning for a one-metre rise in sea level. Poor countries near the coast are in danger.

They need help from rich countries to cope with the changing climate. Millions of people

will be affected by the rising sea levels.

Second draft:

Climate change experts have argued that the melting of the world’s ice caps is evidence

that global warming is a reality. Dr. Steffen (2009), a climate change researcher, stated

that land-based ice sheets in Greenland and Antarctica are melting at a faster rate than

predicted by computer models. With the threat of rising sea levels, some countries are

already taking action. Britain’s environment agency is preparing its country’s flood

defences against a one-metre rise in sea level by 2100. However, poorer countries near

the coastline, such as Bangladesh, are already suffering from the effects of rising sea

levels (Oxfam, 2010). Policy advisors agree that rich countries will need to give assistance

to the millions of affected people in low-lying, economically impoverished countries.

When you are writing your paragraphs, consider writing a first draft that contains your

essential ideas. Then think about how you can make your supporting points more

persuasive by including references to authority.

State the authority at the beginning of the sentence:

Wilson (2004) argued that ___________________________________________

Peng (2010), author of the book, “Earth to People”, suggested that ____________

Climate change researchers have explained that _________________________

State the source of the information at the end of the sentence:

Polar ice sheets are melting at a faster rate than expected (Steffen, 2009).

Britain is preparing for a one-metre rise in sea levels by 2100 (Smith & Li, 2010)

Bangladesh is already suffering from the effects of rising sea levels (Oxfam, 2010)

Softening or strengthening your statements

Hedging is a technique used by speakers and writers to make their statements less open

to criticism from other academics. Our knowledge of the world is changing constantly so it

is better to appear hesitant and open to other points of view.

Imagine if you read the statement, “Cellphone use causes brain tumours” (A causes B).

Would you believe it? Why or why not? Now look at how this statement can be softened by

using a variety of hedging strategies.

1. Add some caution to your statements by inserting a modal verb such as “may”,

“might”, “should”

Example: Cell phone use may cause brain tumours.

2. Be less definite about a problem or issue by replacing “A is equal to B” with “A

seems to be...”, “A appears to be....”, “A looks as if...”

Example: Cell phone use seems to be linked with the development of brain

tumours.

3. Refer to the general nature of the problem or issue with words or phrases such as

“normally”, “sometimes”, “in general”, “typically”, “usually”

Example: Cell phone use does not normally lead to brain tumour development;

however, a few studies have been recently reported linking the two.

4. Discuss the issue as a possibility. You can use the words, “there is a chance that”,

“it is possible that”, “X has the potential”, “opportunity”, “it is hopeful that”

Example: There is a chance that cell phone use may lead to the development of

brain tumours.

5. Describe the problem or issue as an occurrence for a specific group of people, a

particular situation, or a specific time frame. Phrases such as “If X then Y”, “in the

short-term”, “under these circumstances”, “for children under 10”, “in this economic

climate”

Example: Long-term, regular cell phone use may potentially lead to brain tumour

development.

6. Refer to the authority in your source material. Phrase such as “according to X”, “one

recent study suggests that”, “in a number of reported studies”, “climate change

experts”, “researchers from Harvard University”

Example: There is some evidence in a recent study to suggest that long-term cell

phone use may be linked with brain tumour development (Smith, 2009).

Read the following sentences and think about how you can rewrite them to make them

more convincing and less open to criticism. Use any of the strategies on the previous two

pages.

1. Toyota is the number one car company in the world.

2. Our rising dependence on cars has caused global warming.

3. Computer games that contain violence lead to violent behaviour.

4. Young people cannot read books because they use computers too much.

Essay conclusions

Conclusions should clearly tell the reader what the main points were in your essay.

Readers may sometimes forget what the purpose of your essay is and your conclusion is a

reminder what those aims were. General comments could refer to the significance of your

points, the future of topic X, or link back to a statement that you made in your introduction.

1 Restating the thesis statement Remind the reader what the purpose or focus of your

essay is.

2 General summary Summarise and evaluate (briefly and generally) the main

points in your essay, and emphasise the value or

importance of your topic

3 Concluding remarks Connect to a point that was made in the introduction, or

suggest a future impact or result

Make sure that you:

Do NOT include new information such as statistics, facts, or details that should be

located in the body of the essay.

Do NOT include too much personal opinion. Only give opinions that have been supported

by the points in the body of your essay.

Do NOT end your conclusion with a quote from another person. It is your essay and

not someone else’s. Use your own voice.

Read the following essay conclusion and identify its strengths and weaknesses. How could

the conclusion be improved?

In conclusion, I have compared Vodafone with Telecom in this essay. They are both

successful companies in New Zealand. I like Vodafone better because I had problems with

Telecom last year. I think Vodafone has better pricing plans than Telecom. My friends also

have contracts with Vodafone so that is the reason why I chose Vodafone. Three-quarters

of my friends use Vodafone and one of them said, “Vodafone has way better cellphone

plans than Telecom”. Thank you for reading my essay. I hope you have learned something

about Vodafone and Telecom.

Read the following sample conclusions and identify any writing techniques that show:

• The concluding paragraph has begun

• The main points or findings presented in the essay

• The value or importance of the topic

• A link to a future event, effects, or possibilities

Conclusion #1

In summary, Wal-Mart and the Warehouse have very little in common besides the types of

goods that are sold to consumers. The management structure and marketing strategies

employed by both companies reflect substantially different approaches. Future competition

from encroaching multinational corporations may force these companies to rethink their

merchandising strategies. However, at the moment, each company has positioned itself

well in their current economic climate.

Conclusion #2

This paper has discussed the causes and effects of teenage binge drinking in New

Zealand. Peer pressure appears to be one of the main influences on teenage drinking

habits due to the need to belong and feel accepted amongst like-minded social group

members. The effects of binge drinking have both short-term and long-term

consequences. More research is necessary to better understand how support structures

such as family ties and government agencies can help alleviate this growing problem.

Conclusion #3

Various online marketing strategies have developed in sophistication ever since

companies tapped into the Internet as a source of revenue. Although clickable links and

direct visual ads remain commonplace, an increasing number of embedded

advertisements are beginning to appear. Companies are currently using a variety of online

methods to direct consumers’ attention to their products or services. However, it remains

undetermined whether or not embedded ads are a cost-effective means.

APA Referencing

At the end of an essay, it is common for writers to include a reference list or a bibliography.

A reference list includes all the reading sources that you have mentioned in your essay. A

bibliography includes additional resources (e.g., books, webpages, DVDs, etc.) that the

reader may be interested in looking at if s/he wants to investigate further. The American

Psychological Association (APA) has specific guidelines for your reference list. The format

depends on your source material.

For books:

Example:

Author: J.K. Ahn

Published: January 2009

Title: The future of wireless technology

City: New York, London, Sydney, Kuala Lumpur

Publishing Company: New Media Press

Order of information:

author’s last name, author’s initials, publication year, the title of the book, the

nearest city in which the book was published, the name of the publishing company.

Ahn, J.K. (2009). The future of wireless technology. Sydney: New Media Press.

For edited books:

Example:

Editor: Costas, Ricardo

Published: February 2008

Title: Generation PC or Mac?

City: Chicago, London, Melbourne, Hong Kong

Publishing Company: Taylor Press

Order of information:

editor’s last name, editor’s initials, publication year, the title of the book, the nearest

city in which the book was published, the name of the publishing company.

Costas, R. (Ed.) (2008). Generation PC or Mac? Melbourne: Taylor Press.

For articles within edited books:

Example:

Author: Muhong Chen

Editor: Yu Lu

Published: February 2008

Title of the article: Shopper’s psyche: Impulsive or explosive?

Title of the book: Generation Y shopping behaviour

Page numbers of the article: 74-99

City: Chicago, London, Melbourne, Hong Kong

Publishing Company: Taylor Francis Ltd.

Order of information:

author’s last name, author’s initials, publication year, the title of the article, the

editor’s name, the title of the book, the page numbers, the nearest city in which it

was published, the name of the publishing company.

Chen, M. (2008). Shopper’s psyche: Impulsive or explosive? In Y. Lu (Ed.), Generation Y

shopping behaviour (pp. 74-99). Melbourne: Taylor Francis Ltd.

For journal articles:

Example:

Author: John Kang

Published: June 2008

Title of the article: MP3s, 4s and 5s?

Title of the journal: Journal of Consumer Trends

Volume and issue number: volume 21, issue 3

Page numbers of the article: 234-256

Order of information:

author’s last name, author’s initials, publication year, the title of the article, the title

of the journal, the volume and issue numbers, the page numbers

Kang, J. (2008). MP3s, 4s and 5s? Journal of Consumer Trends, 21 (3), 234-256.

For newspapers and magazines:

Example:

Author: Darbandi, Ali

Published: May 9, 2007

Title of the article: iScream 4 iProducts

Title of the newspaper/magazine: The Daily Planet

Page numbers of the article: section C, page 22, continued on page 39

Order of information:

author’s last name, author’s initials, publication year and date, the title of the article,

the title of the newspaper/magazine, the page numbers

Darbandi, A. (2007, May 9). iScream 4 iProducts. The Daily Planet, pp. C22, C39.

For books, journal articles, electronic sources, etc. that have more than one author:

Kardavani, P. (2006). Playstation 2020: The future of console gaming. In P. Ji & S. Peng

(Eds.), Hooray to Blu-ray (pp. 22-39). Palmerston North, NZ: Massey University

Press.

Khwaji, A. & Kishmira, A. (2009a). Psychological effects of playing games. Auckland: IT

Press.

Khwaji, A. & Kishmira, A. (2009b). Mobile phones and gaming. Auckland: IT Press.

Zhou, S., Ma, J., & Lee, A. (2008). Is PC gaming on the way out? Journal of Gaming

Trends, 11 (4), 124-156.

For electronic articles from a university library database:

Example:

Author: Chow, Howard

Published: December 2008

Title of the article: Defining the broad in broadband

Title of the journal: Global Marketing

Volume and issue number: volume 3, issue 1

Page numbers of the article: 79-102

University database: Business Source Premier

Digital object identifier (doi) number: 10.1080/09585190802479413

Order of information:

author’s last name, author’s initials, publication year, the title of the article, the title

of the journal, the volume and issue numbers, page numbers, the name of the

university database OR doi number (not both)

Chow, H. (2008). Defining the broad in broadband. Global Marketing, 3 (1), 79-102.

Retrieved from Business Source Premier.

Chow, H. (2008). Defining the broad in broadband. Global Marketing, 3 (1), 79-102.

doi: 10.1080/09585190802479413.

For electronic articles from the Internet:

Example:

Author: Li, Chendong

Published: October 2006

Title of the article: The user’s quest for more bandwidth

Internet URL: http://ojs.lib.swin.edu.au/index.php/article/167/15

Download date: April 2, 2009

Order of information:

author’s last name, author’s initials, publication year, the title of the article, the URL

of the website, the date on which you downloaded the article

Li, C. (2006). The user’s quest for more bandwidth. Retrieved on April 2, 2009 from

http://ojs.lib.swin.edu.au/index.php/article/167/15.

Your reference list at the end of your essay assignment should look similar in format to the

one below.

References

Ahn, J.K. (2009). The future of wireless technology. Sydney: New Media Press.

Chen, M. (2008). Shopper’s psyche: Impulsive or explosive? In Y. Lu (Ed.), Generation Y

shopping behaviour (pp. 74-99). Melbourne: Taylor Francis Ltd.

Chow, H. (2008). Defining the broad in broadband. Global Marketing, 3 (1), 79-102.

doi: 10.1080/09585190802479413.

Costas, R. (Ed.) (2008). Generation PC or Mac? Melbourne: Taylor Press.

Darbandi, A. (2007, May 9). iScream 4 iProducts. The Daily Planet, pp. C22, C39.

Kang, J. (2008). MP3s, 4s and 5s? Journal of Consumer Trends, 21 (3), 234-256.

Kardavani, P. (2006). Playstation 2020: The future of console gaming. In P. Ji & S. Peng

(Eds.), Hooray to Blue-ray (pp. 22-39). Palmerston North, NZ: Massey University

Press.

Khwaji, A. & Kishmira, A. (2009a). Psychological effects of playing games. Auckland: IT

Press.

Khwaji, A. & Kishmira, A. (2009b). Mobile phones and gaming. Auckland: IT Press.

Li, C. (2006). The user’s quest for more bandwidth. Retrieved on April 2, 2009 from

http://ojs.lib.swin.edu.au/index.php/article/167/15.

Zhou, S., Ma, J., & Lee, A. (2008). Is PC gaming on the way out? Journal of Gaming

Trends, 11 (4), 124-156.

Identifying surnames and given names in your sources

It is often difficult to identify what the surname is. If you see a comma in between the two

names, the surname appears first; however, if no comma exists, then the given name is

presented first.

Jobs, Steve (surname, given name)

Steve Jobs (given name, surname)

Some people have middle names or hyphenated surnames. If uncertain about the

surname, try Googling the person’s name to find a clue. If the person has published other

books or journal articles, you might see online references which identify what his or her

surname is.

Steve Paul Jobs (given name, middle name, surname)

Kiefer W. Sutherland (given name, middle initial, surname)

Kiefer William Frederick Dempsey George Rufus Sutherland (several middle names)

Andrew Lloyd-Webber (given name, hyphenated surname)

Checklist for your reference list

 Does each reference contain all the necessary information?

 Is the title of the book, journal/periodical, and volume in italics?

 For Internet or electronic sources, did you include the name of the university database,

doi number, or website address?

 For Internet or electronic sources, did you include the phrase, “Retrieved… from…”

 Are the references in alphabetical order?

 Is the second line of the reference indented 5 spaces?

 Is there a blank line or space between each of the references?

Write a reference list for the following sources for your academic paper.

Example: an electronic article from the Internet

Author: Statistics New Zealand

Published: August 2005

Title of the article: The digital revolution: Towards a paperless society

Internet URL: http://www.who.org/consumer/article/33/products/19

Download date: April 11, 2009

Source: a book

Author: Valentino Luna Hernandez

Published: March 2002

Title: Movies from Argentina

City: Chicago, London, Brisbane, Hong Kong

Publishing Company: Mercer Publishing House

Source: an electronic article from a university library database

Author: Grace Guo and Margaret Lu

Published: May 2005

Title of the article: Internet-influenced movie watching habits

Title of the journal: Journal of Social Sciences

Volume and issue number: volume 7, issue 2

Page numbers of the article: 119-138

University database: Business Source Premier

Source: a newspaper or magazine article

Author: Kang, John

Published: September 14, 2008

Title of the article: Downloading movies off the web

Title of the newspaper/magazine: Time

Page numbers of the article: page 6, continued on page 26

Source: a journal article

Author: Sun, Lili

Published: November 2006

Title of the article: Can movies be watched on one’s mobile phone?

Title of the journal: Technology Awareness Journal

Volume and issue number: volume 16, issue 1

Page numbers of the article: 131-223

Write a reference list for the following sources for your academic paper.

Example: an electronic article from the Internet

Author: Jun Ma and Samuel Zhou

Published: June 2007

Title of the article: Generation Wi-Fi: Wireless and ready

Internet URL: http://consumer.org/IT/products/22/a-c/8/

Download date: March 24, 2009

Source: an article within a book

Author: Kardavani, Pardis

Editor: Darbandi, Ali

Published: March 2001

Title of the article: Multiple windows and options

Title of the book: Young adult’s web surfing habits

Page numbers of the article: 77-104

City: Seoul, Paris, Toronto, Singapore

Publishing Company: RELC Press

Source: a journal article

Author: Sean Peng and Peng Ji

Published: July 2006

Title of the article: The psychology of surfing the web

Title of the journal: Journal of Psychology

Volume and issue number: volume 8, issue 3

Page numbers of the article: 36-52

Source: an electronic article from a university library database

Author: Lin, Xuting

Published: April 2004

Title of the article: Can Microsoft compete with Apple’s iPad?

Title of the journal: Journal of Innovation

Volume and issue number: volume 18, issue 4

Page numbers of the article: 21-46

Digital object identifier (doi) number: 14.1100/09385291302879543

Source: a book

Author: Chendong Li

Published: 2008

Title: The future of the Internet

City: San Francisco, Auckland, Beijing, Edinburgh

Publishing Company: Technologica Industries Ltd.

Report writing

Report writing is different from essay writing in several ways. Academic essays are

generally written in educational settings (secondary-/tertiary-level) for the teacher/lecturer

to improve students’ literacy skills. Similarly report writing may be required in educational

settings but are also commonplace in workplace environments. Below is a brief summary

of some differences between the two forms of writing.

Essay writing

Report writing

Audience

and

Purpose

To convince the lecturer that you

have a strong understanding of the

content

To persuade the lecturer with a well-

thought out and logical argument

To objectively summarise information about an

issue or problem based on the client’s brief or set

of instructions

To recommend practical actions or solutions for a

client based on the information presented

Report

Structure

Includes a title page, introduction,

body, conclusion, and reference list

May include a title page, abstract/ executive

summary, acknowledgments, table of contents, list

of figures, list of tables, introduction, discussion

section (body), conclusions, recommendations,

glossary, appendices, and reference list.*

Content The information in your essay

supports the writer’s central argument

or thesis

The information in your report is focussed on

answering your client’s questions or concerns

about a particular issue

* The 192.102 paper will not ask you to include an abstract/executive summary, acknowledgments, list of

figures and tables, or a glossary for the report assignment.

One of the most significant differences between an essay and a report is the presence of

the client in report writing. Clients typically have an issue that requires further

understanding (e.g., the impact of building a motorway beside a protected greenbelt) or a

problem that needs to be solved (e.g., how to reduce motorway accidents) so your

research for your report must be specific to the client’s problem and client’s needs.

Understanding the client’s brief will be examined in the next section.

Analysing the report brief

Similar to essay assignment questions, reports often contain “a brief” or a set of

instructions that a client has stated. Analysing the report brief is one of the most important

steps to writing a solid report since every section of the report must keep in mind what the

client has requested.

Identifying the command verbs (i.e., the verbs which tell you what to do) and

understanding what they mean are important for understanding the assignment question.

Read the following report briefs and identify what the client is asking you to do. Brainstorm

the types of content that you think might be useful in writing a report. In your own words,

what is the client asking you to do? What content might you include in your report?

Report brief #1:

A growing number of students entering tertiary education are from the Net Generation, in

which technology has become a natural part of their lives. The challenge for education is

how to blend traditional face-to-face classroom teaching with new methods of learning

using technology. Massey University has requested that you write a report on the

opportunities and challenges with implementing technology in education. The university

also wants you to provide suggestions for how instructors can use technology in ways that

are not currently being used in the classroom.

Report brief #2:

The Ministry of Health in New Zealand understands that the “health” of a nation’s people is

not only related to issues of hospital care, the health of older people, family violence, and

mental health. The health and happiness of people living in cities is becoming more of an

issue as urban centres continue to grow in physical size and population density. As a

result, the Ministry of Health has commissioned you to write a report on describing other

relevant issues specific to urban environments that influence the health of New

Zealanders. The report should provide recommendations that will improve the health of

urban residents on a day-to-day basis and for the long-term.

Getting started on your report

Read the report assignment brief on page 11. After choosing a topic, you’ll need to

analyse the report brief and brainstorm content and keywords for your library/Internet

search.

Whilst reading your articles, you might want to circle or underline parts of the original

article to help you identify where the information may potentially appear in your report.

Introduction – Does the information give a background to the issue?

Discussion – Does it answer the report brief?

Conclusions – Does it summarise the main points?

Recommendations – Does it give the client feasible suggestions?

While you are reading your articles, don’t forget to:

(a) Check the trustworthiness of the source

(b) Look for definitions, quotes, and statistics to strengthen your report.

1. Choose a topic for your report assignment.

2. Analyse the report brief by identifying what the client is asking you to do.

3. Brainstorm content and keywords for your library search.

4. Write a tentative report plan (see the next page for help with this)

5. Look at your weekly timetable and organise when you can work on this assignment and

estimate how long it will take.

If you have any questions about the report assignment, it is not too early to ask your tutor.

Planning your report

An example of a report plan can be found on the following page. This is a rough draft of a

report plan that the writer uses as a guide to structure his/her ideas.

What is the purpose of writing a report plan?

The purpose of writing a plan or outline is to help you decide how you will organise the

content of your report. This will help you with understanding:

1. if the content you have found answers the assignment question

2. if the sequence of ideas in your report makes logical sense

3. if you need to find more information to fill in gaps in your report

What information do I need to include in a report plan?

Your report plan should answer the following questions:

1. What content will you include in each section of the report?

2. How will the content be organised? What order?

3. Are there important definitions, facts, quotes, or statistics that need to be included?

Where will they appear?

4. Are there relevant figures, diagrams, charts, or tables that need to be included?

Where will they appear?

5. What references will you include in your report?

Sample report plan

Title Page: Expansion opportunities and challenges for Farro Fresh Foods in New Zealand

Table of Contents

1. Introduction

- discuss background

- description of Farro Fresh Foods (e.g., company size)

- history of Farro Fresh Foods

- competition from Foodstuffs and Progressive

- competition from other boutique supermarkets

- changes in market share

- the report is written for the CEO of Farro Fresh Foods, Mr. John Walker

- the aims of the report are:

- to discuss the opportunities and challenges faced by Farro Fresh Foods

- to discuss current and future trends

- to recommend strategies for increasing market share

- the scope of the report will

- focus mainly on discussing issues around public visibility/accessibility and

expanding target markets

- not include issues related to government regulations, environmental impact, or

employment hiring practices

2. Public Visibility and Accessibility

- opportunity: to expand the range of products and/or brands offered

- challenge 1: how to expand when store shelf space is limited

- challenge 2: accessibility (car park space) is currently limited

3. Marketing Strategies

- opportunity 1: focus on boutique shopping experience

- opportunity 2: sell “global” shopping in the neighbourhood

- challenge 1: price comparisons with competitors

- challenge 2: current economic climate

4. Conclusions

4.1 - Farro Fresh is fiscally performing well in a competitive food industry

4.2 - Farro Fresh is limited by a lack of locations and car parks

4.3 - Farro Fresh cannot compete with its competitors on certain “daily” food

products such as milk and bread

5. Recommendations

5.1 - Farro Fresh needs to be more aggressive with its marketing campaigns (e.g.,

by distributing weekly neighbourhood flyers).

5.2 - Farro Fresh may benefit from including community-oriented services (e.g.,

cooking demonstrations) to increase its profile

5.3 - Farro Fresh should start looking at suitable sites for expansion in order for a

larger range of products to be offered

5.4 - Farro Fresh should consider providing home delivery services and/or home

catering services to target niche markets

6. References

7. Appendices - include market share chart here

Report introductions

Report introductions contain specific information that is related to the client’s background

or needs. The content in report introductions may vary from one field to another but

generally speaking, the content addresses the following questions:

1. Who is the report written for? (i.e., Who is the client?)

Reports may be written for private and/or public viewing. The “client” could be an

individual, a government agency, a company, or the general public.

2. What are the aims of the report? (i.e., the purpose)

Readers need to know why the report was written because they will need to see

if the conclusions or recommendations satisfy the report’s objectives.

3. What is the background or history behind the situation, company or problem?

A brief summary of the problem/issue/company is usually presented to give the

reader an understanding of the context. If more information is required, a

separate section may be included within the discussion section of the report.

4. What is the scope of the report? (i.e., What are you going to discuss and not

discuss and to what extent). This is an extension of point #2 above since it

provides more specific details about the content of the report in order to explicitly

state what the reader can expect or not expect to read.

5. How did you collect your data? (e.g., questionnaires, telephone interviews)

You do NOT need to answer this question for your report assignment. It is only

presented here since it is typically mentioned in report writing.

6. What is the outline or structure of the report? (i.e., How is it organised?)

Even though you will include a table of contents, it is appropriate to include a

written explanation of the basic outline of your report.

Read the following (short) introductions for a report. The main weakness in each of the

following report introductions is the length but there are other weaknesses. Look again at

the six questions on the previous page and then explain what is missing from both report

introductions below. Keep in mind the difference between writing essay and reports as you

critically review the introduction below. What content could you add to each report

introduction?

Report introduction #1:

People immigrate to other countries all the time. Immigration into New Zealand is

increasing. There are advantages and disadvantages with immigration. One advantage of

New Zealand is that it is green and clean. A disadvantage is that there are not many jobs,

especially for young people. I think this is a big problem. This report examines the

advantages and disadvantages of immigration. Immigration into Australia will not be

discussed.

Report introduction #2:

This report is written for the New Zealand Tourism Association to provide more information

about the impact of sporting events in this country. For example, 300,000 visitors were

expected to arrive for 2011 Rugby World Cup in New Zealand (NZTA, 2012); however, its

financial impact on various service industries (e.g., hotels, restaurants) has not been

calculated. There is also much potential in showcasing New Zealand as a tourism

destination to the millions of online and satellite television viewers watch various sporting

events from their home countries (TourismNZ, 2014). The aim of this report is to

investigate the potential spending habits of these face-to-face and virtual visitors and how

New Zealand’s private sector can respond to this opportunity.

Discussion section

In between the introduction and conclusion sections of an essay is the “body”. However, in

reports, this section is known as the “discussion” section.

The discussion section of your report should follow logically after your introduction. In other

words, the introduction orients the reader to what your report is about and what you are

going to discuss whereas the discussion section contains all the facts, information, and

details that answer the report brief. In the report plan below, look at the headings and see

how they relate to the statements in the introduction.

(Introduction)

Maintenance costs to the existing Auckland Harbour Bridge are expected to increase

three-fold by 2020 (TransNZ, 2006). With escalating costs, proposals have been submitted

to find alternative routes across the Waitemata Harbour. Auckland City Council has

requested that a report be written on the feasibility of building an underground tunnel. This

report estimates the costs of constructing a tunnel for both motor vehicles and light rapid

public transit. Social and environmental costs will not be discussed but some suggestions

for further research will be provided.

(A rough report plan)

1. Introduction

2. Existing Harbour Bridge

- history, significance of the bridge

2.1 Maintenance Costs

- cracks, cables, asphalt resurfacing

2.2 Increasing Vehicular Traffic

- peak hour congestion, bottleneck points

3. Proposed Underground Tunnel Access

- design, route, public transport

3.1 Estimated Costs

- consultation, construction, toll charges

3.2 Time Frame

- schedule of dates

4. Conclusions

5. Recommendations

6. References

Read the following introduction, report plan and sample (but unfinished) paragraph at the

bottom of the page. Can you identify any positive or negative writing techniques in this

paragraph?

(Introduction)

Vodafone and Telecom control 76% of the personal and business telecommunications

market in New Zealand (BusStats, 2009). Although 2degrees offers competitive services

and rates, it has not succeeded in substantially increasing its market share. This report

was commissioned by 2degrees to investigate the challenges of persuading existing

Vodafone and Telecom customers to switch service providers. 2,400 people responded to

an online questionnaire. Phone interviews were then held with 80 respondents providing

more reliable data for the study.

(Report Plan)

1. Introduction

2. Competitive Pricing Plans

- Vodafone vs. Telecom vs. 2 degrees

3. Brand Loyalty

- customers are influenced by friends

4. “Wait and See” Consumerism

- 2 degrees is a new company

4. Conclusions

5. Recommendations

(Discussion section)

2. Competitive Pricing Plans

2 degrees’ main challenge is for potential consumers to perceive that the company is

capable of providing significantly lower landline or mobile phone user rates. 62% of the

online questionnaire respondents mentioned whether it was worth the effort to switch

companies unless the savings were significant (TPL Media, 2009). A comparison of

several user plans are listed below:

(insert table here)

In Table 1 above, it is clear that the three major players are aware of each other’s pricing

plans; therefore any attempts by 2degrees to undercut the competition is met with swift

changes by its competitors.

Tips for writing your report discussion section

Tip #1

Use keywords in your topic sentence that relate to the aims of the report

(benefits/difficulties, causes/effects, issue). If the report brief asks you to write about the

opportunities and challenges of starting one’s own business in NZ, then include those

keywords in your topic sentences.

______________________ represents a major opportunity for the company.

Another challenge is the ________________________________________.

Tip #2

Do NOT repeat the exact same words as your heading. In addition, avoid using the same

topic sentence for your other paragraphs.

3.1 The Effects of the GST Increase

The effects of the GST increase are numerous. Consumer spending may be

discouraged especially on more expensive items (e.g., cars, whiteware, home

renovations), which will negatively affect the nation’s economy.

Tip #3

Do NOT draw conclusions (e.g., X is the best solution to the problem) or write suggestions

(e.g., Company X should use in-store flyers instead of TV advertising). Both your summary

and suggestions should be written in the “Conclusions” and “Recommendations” sections.

2.2 GST Increase

The GST should not be raised to 15% since the government’s aim is to encourage

consumer spending.

Active versus Passive Voice

Depending on your subject area, you will need to follow the writing conventions of your

chosen field of study. For example, business and physical science students may be told

not to use “I”, “we”, or “my” in your writing since you, as an individual, are not important

and the focus should be on the ideas, the product, or the company. For students enrolled

in social sciences or humanities papers, lecturers follow the writing style conventions

outlined in the American Psychological Association (APA) manual. The use of first person,

“I” is acceptable; however, use “we” only if it refers to you and a co-author. Instead of “we”,

some alternatives that can be used are “researchers”, “people”, “humans”, “scientists”,

“analysts”, etc.`

When writing your essay or report, follow the writing style conventions that you see in your

course textbooks and journal articles. If you are having trouble forming sentences, you

may find the writing tips on pages 117-119 useful.

Below are a couple of examples to illustrate the difference between active and passive

voice. For questions 3-8 below, identify whether the sentence is written in the active or

passive voice using the space provided.

1 I collected data from an online survey. (active voice)

2 Data were collected from an online survey. (passive voice)

3 The experiments were designed by Simpson (2013).

(______________ voice)

4 Richards (2011) conducted an experiment at 20 locations across the city.

(______________ voice)

5 Researchers classify pollution according to the source of the emission.

(______________ voice)

6 This report will discuss several factors related to the increase in air pollution.

(______________ voice)

7 Particle emissions were analysed according to size and density.

(______________ voice)

8 In this paper, the effects of car pollutants will be discussed.

(______________ voice)

For sentences 3-8 above, show your ability to switch from the active to passive voice and

vice versa by writing new sentences.

Using quotations

Along with summarising or paraphrasing content from your articles, another method of

transferring ideas into your writing is to use quotations. The purpose of repeating the exact

words from your reading source is (a) to cite an expert or famous individual who will add

credibility to your argument, (b) to quote the interesting or unique words of the author that

cannot be expressed in another way, and (c) to state information such as facts or statistics

that are best left intact so that there is no confusion or ambiguity.

Since the reader may want to read the original text to find out more information about the

topic, it’s necessary for you to include in your direct quotations at least the following:

1. Quotation marks (“ “) that surround the words that you are repeating

2. The author’s last name or surname

3. The year of the publication or the year it was posted on the Internet

4. The page number or section/paragraph on the webpage

For each paragraph below,

1. Underline the direct quotation enclosed with quotation marks

2. Circle the author’s name

3. Circle the year of the publication

4. Circle the page number or section on the webpage

Text #1: Quotation from a respected expert or public figure

The issues surrounding the affordability of housing in New Zealand is complex and many

politicians and housing experts have called for the implementation of a capital gains tax.

Dr. Lockwood Smith of the National Party (2007) stated that “a capital gains tax on

housing cannot solve housing affordability and rising inflation when a major part of the

problem is actually government spending” (para. 7). He does admit that social attitudes

towards housing as the primary form of savings and investment could change if the current

system of tax rebates did not exist.

Why is it important to mention “of the National Party”?

Excerpt adapted from:

Capital gains tax – Is this needed in New Zealand?

National Party, Dr, the Rt Hon Lockwood Smith, 22 March 2007

Retrieved 15 February 2011 from http://www.national.org.nz/Article.aspx?articleId=9733

Text #2: Quotation for a unique way of explaining or describing something

Cramming for an exam may lead to a better grade but some cognitive scientists have

voiced its limitations. “Hurriedly jam-packing a brain is akin to speed-packing a cheap

suitcase ... it holds its new load for a while, then most everything falls out” (Carey, 2010,

para. 19). If students had to revisit the same material months later or after some prolonged

delay, they can only vaguely recall the information. Although regular tests have their

drawbacks, they force the brain to relearn previous material and the information appears to

last longer in a person’s memory.

Why is the author’s last name mentioned at the end instead of at the beginning of the

sentence?

Excerpt adapted from:

Forget what you know about good study habits

NY Times, Benedict Carey, 6 September 2010

Retrieved 10 November 2010 from

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/07/health/views/07mind.html?_r=1&partner=rss&emc=rss&pagewanted=all

Text #3: Quotation for a fact or statistic

One major consequence of water scarcity in the world is the decrease in food harvests.

Farmers need water to irrigate their crops. As water becomes scarce, farmers cannot grow

the same amount of food as before. Geoffrey Lean (2009), an environment editor for the

Independent, stated that “water scarcity could cut world harvests by 30 per cent” by 2030

(para. 6). 21 years is not a long time from now before there is a big drop in food

production. Another related point is the increasing population of the world, which will be a

big problem for farmers. Some countries that have large, expanding populations (e.g.,

China, India) will experience great challenges with feeding their people. Other countries,

which have very little land for growing food, will pay a lot of money for imported food.

Water scarcity has a huge impact on food production and this will be a major problem for

many countries around the world.

Why is it important to mention “an environment editor for the Independent”?

Excerpt adapted from:

Water scarcity now bigger threat than financial crisis

The Independent, Geoffrey Lean, Environment Editor, 15 March 2009

Retrieved 10 November 2010 from http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/climate-change/water-

scarcity-now-bigger-threat-than-financial-crisis-1645358.html

Citing the names of your sources

Writers can choose the level of detail when stating the author of the source material.

The amount of information that you decide to include depends on how much you think the

reader needs to know. In other words, ask yourself if the extra information is necessary or

important for the reader to understand the issue, problem or situation.

1. Ma (2008) used GPS data to “seamlessly match the proposed bridge crossing with

the existing topography like a glove” (p. 42).

It is common to include the surname only, especially if the author appears in several

in-text references in your writing.

2. Dr. Ma (2008) used GPS data to “seamlessly match the proposed bridge crossing

with the existing topography like a glove” (p. 42).

Adding the author’s title (Dr.) gives more credibility to the individual. It tells the

reader that the author has expertise in the field and is able to comment on topic X.

3. Dr. Xin Ma (2008) used GPS data to “seamlessly match the proposed bridge

crossing with the existing topography like a glove” (p. 42).

Occasionally, the author’s full name is provided in cases where the article includes

several authors with the same surname or to differentiate between this particular

author and other authors with the same last name that exist in the field.

4. Dr. Xin Ma (2008), an architect for Engineering Solutions, used GPS data to

“seamlessly match the proposed bridge crossing with the existing topography like a

glove” (p. 42).

More information about the author’s field of study or affiliation (an architect for

Engineering Solutions) could also add credibility to the individual making the

statement more convincing or persuasive.

5. An architect has used GPS data to “seamlessly match the proposed bridge crossing

with the existing topography like a glove” (Ma, 2008, p. 42).

By shifting the author’s name to the end of the sentence, enclosed in parentheses,

the emphasis is on the content message and less on the person who said it.

Switching the authors’ names from the beginning to the end of the sentence is also

a conscious writing style decision to avoid the repetition of always starting or ending

sentences in the same way.

Long, partial, or edited information in quotes

Long quotes

Long quotes are generally not a good idea since it is best to use your own words when

writing an essay or report. However, it is sometimes necessary to quote a long piece of

text (e.g., definitions). In such cases, indent the quotation five spaces from both sides of

the left and right margins as follows:

Sample quote #1

Researchers in the field of education have defined task in various ways. Some have

outlined the difference between a task and an exercise or drill (Ellis, 2003) whereas others

have focussed on the learner’s engagement with the task (Breen, 1987; Breen & Littlejohn,

2000). In this essay, I will use Ishii’s (2008) definition of task:

A task is any plan of action that has been designed by the instructor/

researcher or co-constructed by the learners a priori or spontaneously

in order to engage the learner(s) in comprehending or producing

language for the purposes of research, assessment, or pedagogy. As

the learners interact with the task, the nature of the task evolves.

Further examination of linguistic or non-linguistic processes and

products may be beneficial for understanding or fostering language

development. (p. 121)

The above definition of task is based on a sociocultural view of task-based learning. Some

researchers have stated that a task is a starting blueprint or a plan of action initiated by the

teacher. Once learners are given a task, the learners’ own perceptions and motivations

enter which alters how the task is completed.

Partial quotes

It is often unnecessary to repeat the exact words of the entire quote in your writing.

Depending on the purpose or focus of your paragraph, you may decide to use only part of

a much longer quote. The dot, dot, dot (...) at the end or in the middle of the quote signals

to the reader that there are more words but you don’t want to disrupt the flow of the writing

by adding too much information from the author.

Sample quote #2

Researchers in the field of education have defined task in various ways. Some have

outlined the difference between a task and an exercise or drill (Ellis, 2003) whereas others

have focussed on the learner’s engagement with the task (Breen, 1987; Breen & Littlejohn,

2000). Ishii’s (2008) definition of task states that “a task is any plan of action that has been

spontaneously in order to engage the learner(s) in comprehending or producing language

...” (p. 121). The important difference with her definition in comparison to previous

definitions is her reference to the co-construction process. Instructors and learners may

negotiate the learning outcomes to suit their individual needs.

Edited information in quotes

Writers may also decide to add or repair the words of the author to suit your message in

your writing. Any new or edited information should be enclosed in square parentheses [ ]

to signal to the reader that you, the writer, has added them.

Sample quote #2

Researchers in the field of education have defined task in various ways. Some have

outlined the difference between a task and an exercise or drill (Ellis, 2003) whereas others

have focussed on the learner’s engagement with the task (Breen, 1987; Breen & Littlejohn,

2000). Ishii’s (2008) definition of task states that “a [language learning] task is any plan of

action that has been designed by the instructor/ researcher or co-constructed by the

learners a priori or spontaneously in order to engage the learner(s) in comprehending or

producing language ...” (p. 121). The important difference with her definition in comparison

to previous definitions is her reference to the co-construction process. Instructors and

learners may negotiate the learning outcomes to suit their individual needs.

Write a paragraph summary of one of the articles on synthetic brain research (page 32) or

globalisation (page 33) and include one properly formatted quotation. This task will give

you more practice on summary writing.

Report conclusions

Similar to essay conclusions, report conclusions summarise the main points of the

document. If the reader needs to fully understand more details about a particular topic

within your report, s/he can turn to the discussion section for more information. As with any

conclusion section, no new information should be presented here.

What is the purpose or function of report conclusions?

• To summarise the main points of the discussion section: the reader may not have

time to read the full report so there is a chance that s/he will concentrate on reading

only the conclusions and recommendations.

• To alert the reader to the most important issues: the reader needs to be aware of

any positive and negative issues that require immediate or close attention.

Format of the conclusions section

Report conclusions visually look different from essay conclusions. They are typically

numbered with the first point being the most important and sometimes written in the

present tense to indicate the current status of an issue or problem.

5. Conclusions

5.1 Southland’s current organisation structure is inappropriate. There is an unnecessary

layer of management between the branch manager and supervisors.

5.2 Southland is currently experiencing communication difficulties among management,

accountant, supervisors, and junior staff.

5.3 The branch manager is experiencing difficulties communicating with staff, since he has

recently endured a serious personal loss. As a consequence, the whole branch is

failing to achieve desired results.

5.4 The supervisors lack training and communication skills. The company will soon lose

these potentially valuable staff if their manager fails to provide adequate support and

supervision.

Excerpt adapted from:

Emerson, L. (Ed.) (2000). Writing guidelines for business students (p.42). Palmerston North: Dunmore Press.

Compare the language in the discussion section with the wording in the first point in the

conclusion section. Explain why the first version is weak and why the second version is

better.

(Discussion section)

2. Competitive Pricing Plans

2 degrees’ main challenge is for potential consumers to perceive that the company is

capable of providing significantly lower landline or mobile phone user rates. 62% of the

online questionnaire respondents mentioned whether it was worth the effort to switch

companies unless the savings were significant (TPL Media, 2009). A comparison of

several user plans are listed below:

(insert table here)

In Table 1 above, it is clear that the three major players are aware of each other’s pricing

plans...

5. Conclusions (version 1)

5.1 The main challenge is for potential consumers to perceive that 2 degrees is

capable of providing significantly lower landline or mobile phone user rates.

5. Conclusions (version 2)

5.1 Vodafone and Telecom both provide competitive pricing plans and bundled

packages which makes it difficult for customers to notice 2 degrees’

advertising campaigns.

Notice how the conclusions summarise the data, facts, or information in the discussion

section. By stating points 4.1 and 4.2 first in the conclusions section, what message is the

writer telling the client? What issues require immediate or close attention?

(Discussion section)

2.2 Increasing Vehicular Traffic

Data from a traffic counting report (NZTraffic, 2009)

- Car and motorcycle use has increased 42%.

- Use of heavy trucks has increased 29%.

- Buses have increased by 33% in number.

Data from an urban studies report (GreenCity, 2010)

- Pedestrian and bicycle traffic is prohibited.

– No trains or monorails.

– Single passenger car use is 76% of all vehicles.

Data from a transport association (NZTA, 2010)

- 27% increase in peak weekday hour congestion delays

- Time delays have increased, on average, 17% on long weekends, and 12% when

entertainment-related events (e.g., rugby, music concerts) are scheduled.

- Main bottlenecks exist at bridge access points due to lane merging

4. Conclusions

4.1 Over three-quarters of all vehicles crossing the bridge are single passenger cars.

4.2 Traffic congestion, in particular at the bridge access points, is increasing not only

during weekday peak hours but also during weekends depending on seasonal/event-

related factors.

4.3 (a conclusion from another section of the report)

Report recommendations

What is the purpose or function of report recommendations?

• To suggest to the client a course of action: The reader may not have time to read

the full report and concentrate on reading the recommendations. What should the

client do immediately, in the short-term, in the long-term?

• To suggest a course of action that is feasible and appropriate for the client’s

situation: The suggestions should consider the client’s time-, budget-, or resource-

oriented constraints. What is the client able to do? Is it suggestion helpful or

realistic?

Format of the recommendations section

Each company or organisation uses a different style of formatting their reports. It is

important to keep your formatting style consistent throughout your document so for

example, the style you choose for the Conclusions section should be the same as the

Recommendations section.

Look at the two formatting styles and notice the differences. What do you notice about the

language in each one? Which one do you prefer?

7. Recommendations (formatting style #1)

7.1 Farro Fresh needs to be more aggressive with its marketing campaigns (e.g., by

distributing weekly neighbourhood flyers) to increase its exposure to the local

community.

7.2 Farro Fresh may benefit from including community-oriented services (e.g., cooking

demonstrations) to increase its neighbourhood profile.

7. Recommendations (formatting style #2)

The Farro Fresh Food Group may consider the following suggestions for expanding its

operations within the Auckland region.

7.1 Be more aggressive with its marketing campaigns (e.g., by distributing weekly

neighbourhood flyers) to increase its exposure to the local community.

7.2 Include community-oriented services (e.g., cooking demonstrations) to increase its

neighbourhood profile.

Is the recommendation specific?

One tip for writing recommendations is to avoid vague suggestions that do not contain

enough information to be helpful to the client.

Your points in the Recommendations section should logically be linked to your points in

your Conclusions section. Read the statement in the Conclusions section and then look at

the two versions in the Recommendations section. What is wrong with the

recommendation in the first draft?

5. Conclusions

5.1 Vodafone and Telecom both provide competitive pricing plans and bundled

packages which makes it difficult for customers to notice 2 degrees’ advertising

campaigns.

6. Recommendations (version 1)

6.1 2 degrees should provide more competitive pricing plans and bundled packages in

order for customers to notice cost advantages if they switched to 2 degrees.

6. Recommendations (version 2)

6.1 Market surveys indicate that there is not a strong enough incentive to switch service

providers; therefore, 2 degrees should consider adopting initial sign-up incentives

(e.g., a wider variety of sign-up bonuses), partnership incentives (e.g., rewards that

can be redeemed at partnered companies), and loyalty incentives (e.g., long-term

reduction of fee structure).

Is the recommendation feasible?

The client needs to be able to use your recommendation and will ask him-/herself if the

suggestion is feasible, practical, helpful, or easy to implement?

Read the following conclusions and recommendation for a report on the Auckland Harbour

Bridge. Look at each of the recommendations? Are they useful suggestions? Are they

feasible? Will the client find them easy to implement?

4. Conclusions

4.1 Over three-quarters of all vehicles crossing the bridge are single passenger cars.

4.2 Traffic congestion, in particular at the bridge access points, is increasing not only

during weekday peak hours but also during weekends depending on seasonal/event-

related factors.

5. Recommendations

5.1 The increase in single passenger vehicle use suggests that more public transport

(i.e., bus and ferry services) should be provided. More buses and fewer cars will

decrease traffic congestion and also reduce the impact of noise and air pollution on

the environment.

5.2 To alleviate traffic congestion at peak weekday and weekend times, toll charges

should be implemented and enforced from 7 am to 9 am and 4 pm to 6 pm on

weekdays and 9 am to 9 pm on long weekends during national holidays. People will

be discouraged from crossing the harbour bridge if toll charges are in place.

5.3 Park-and-ride operations should be expanded to provide more drop-off points and

increased regularity of service. Similar to airport shuttle services, 12-seater vans

instead of buses could be used to taxi passengers to their destinations.

Is the recommendation for another report?

Another tip for writing a recommendation is to suggest that the client commission the

writing of a subsequent report. The writer of the report may realise, during the research

gathering phase that more consultation is required or more expertise is needed about a

particular aspect of the problem or issue. In such cases, it is common to suggest that

another report be written (see examples below).

5. Recommendations

5.1 Farro Fresh should start investigating appropriate sites for an expansion of its

operations. A more detailed site analysis report would also need to be written to

identify any market or operational challenges associated with its location.

7. Recommendations

7.1 A separate environmental impact report should be commissioned to examine the

effects of the proposed underground tunnel on the local ecosystem. This report

would include geological surveys, impact studies on Waitemata Harbour wildlife,

and potential pollution-related issues.

Analysing report recommendations

Below are some common mistakes that students have made when writing their

recommendations section (for three different topics). This task emphasises the importance

of making your recommendations specific and feasible for your client. The answers to the

following questions may be obvious but it may be useful to consider how you would

improve the writers’ statements.

Is the recommendation appropriate?

Is it a good idea to include personal stories?

Is the recommendation useful for the client?

5. Recommendations (for improving immigrants’ experiences of living in NZ)

5.1 New migrants should find a high paying job so they will be happy with their life in

New Zealand. No money is no fun. They should make more friends too.

5. Recommendations (for fostering the health of individuals living in urban areas)

5.1 People living in cities should eat more healthy food and not eat fast food like

McDonald’s. My friend is a vegetarian and is very happy with her health.

5. Recommendations (for introducing technology in classrooms)

5.1 Instructors should use more technology in the classroom (EduTech, 2008). Every

student should be able to download all classroom material onto their mobile phones.

Tables and figures

Reports typically include other types of data (e.g., tables, charts, figures, questionnaires,

surveys, correspondence letters, memos, photos, drawings, plans, lists of raw data) to

provide further support for your statements. Below are some tips for what to and what not

to include in your reports. Photographic sources: (bowling) Levine, D.R. & Adelman, M.B. (1993).

Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall Regents. (p.72) and (car ad) Benwell, B. & Stokoe, E. (2005). Discourse

and identity. Edinburgh: Edinburgh University Press (p.189).

Tip #1: Do NOT include photos or visual data just to make your report look pretty.

Look at the two paragraphs below that contain photos. Are they appropriate? Can you

explain why or why not?

2.4 Changes in recreation and entertainment

Previous forms of social entertainment that were once popular amongst particular age

groups are now facing much competition from digital or electronic entertainment. The

importance of face-to-face interaction still remains but the Internet age has now opened up

a new level of connectedness that allows for interaction beyond the physical boundaries of

a specific meeting place.

Photo: bowling

3.3 Purchasing power of women

Motor vehicle advertisements are commonly perceived as being targeted for the male

consumer; however, a growing number of ads show an awareness of women’s decision-

making power in purchasing a new car. An example of a car advertisement (Benwell &

Stokoe, 2005), targeting women, can be seen in Figure 1 below:

Tip #2: Always include a title for each photo, chart, or visual/textual data that is

included within the body of your report. Make sure the title is numbered and has a

clear description of the content. Source: McLennan, G., McManus, R., & Spoonley, P. (2010).

Exploring society. Auckland: Pearson. (p. 141)

Figure 1: Average minutes per day spent on types of household work by gender

McLennan, McManus & Spoonley (2010)

Tip #3: Explain the significance of the chart, figure, or visual/textual data in the

paragraph. In other words, explain why you put the diagram in the report. Source:

McLennan, G., McManus, R., & Spoonley, P. (2010). Exploring society. Auckland: Pearson. (p. 173)

2.2 Changing economies

There is no doubt that the digital era is upon us but how this impacts New Zealanders is

less well known. Table 2 below shows how new technologies have transformed the ways

in which individual communicate and interact with others and how people utilise goods and

information. The significance of this shift can be seen by an industry shift towards

increasing employment in the service sector and a substantial reduction in the

manufacturing sector.

Table 2: Shift to the digital era

McLennan, McManus & Spoonley (2010)

Tip #4: Make sure the table, chart, figure or diagram is clear. Is the text legible and

easily understood? Are the colours or patterns easy to differentiate? Is the x- and y-

axis or key clearly labelled? You might consider redrawing the diagram to make it

easier to understand or simply change the colour to black and white to make it

ready for photocopying for others to read. Source: McLennan, G., McManus, R., & Spoonley, P.

(2010). Exploring society. Auckland: Pearson. (p. 96)

3.1 Population mortality

Differences exist amongst the various ethnicities living in New Zealand in terms of

mortality and morbidity. Figure 2 below shows that, in the late 1990s, Māori and Pacific

Island peoples had a mortality rate for meningococcal that was 3-7 times higher than the

other ethnicities (McLennan, McManus & Spoonley, 2010). This example illustrates the

fact that poorer communities lack access to health services and support. Although the

divisive situation has shown some improvement, there continues to be significant

differences in the health status of individuals from different ethnic communities.

Figure 2: Statistics for meningococcal in New Zealand by ethnicity

Notice the problems in reading the chart in Figure 2 above. The chart and text are too

small, the lines are too similar, and the x-axis (year) and y-axis (rate per 100,000) are not

labelled.

Tip #5: Do NOT include overly complex figures or charts that force the reader to try

to interpret its meaning or significance. Source: Tomasello, M. & Bates, E. (2001). Language

development. Oxford: Blackwell. (p.15)

Figure 4: Violations in speech patterns (Tomasello & Bates, 2001)

Tip #6: If the figure, diagram, or chart takes up more than one page or interrupts

the explanation of the main point of the section, then put the visual/textual data in

an appendix at the end of your report. Source: McLennan, G., McManus, R., & Spoonley, P.

(2010). Exploring society. Auckland: Pearson. (p. 233)

3.1 Cultural diversity

A Stats NZ (1999) report stated that the change in New Zealanders’ cultural backgrounds

is a direct result of changing migration policies and patterns in the last few decades. (See

Appendix A: Changes in New Zealand’s cultural diversity). The ethnic shift will not only

impact the types of goods and services offered but also change various social and

economic aspects of daily life.

Appendix A: Changes in New Zealand’s cultural diversity

Figure 4 below shows the relative proportion of four major ethnic identities predicted for

2016, if current migration trends continue.

Figure 4: Cultural diversity in 2016 (McLennan, McManus & Spoonley, 2010)

The original pie chart was in colour but photocopying the image makes the shading

between the Māori and Pacific Islanders no different from each other. The chart is still

legible but be careful with inserting colour illustrations into your paper (see tip #4).

Checklist for including tables and figures

 Explain how the figure, diagram or chart supports your main point.

 Include a numbered title Figure 4: _______________________

 Mention the figure or diagram in the body of the report.

Figure 3 below shows...

Spending on leisure goods has increased by 42% (see Figure 3 below).

 Ensure the text, colours/patterns, and key in the charts, figures, or diagrams are clear.

 Either in the body of the report or after the title, include the source of the information

(e.g., Ministry of Education, 2009)

Section D

Learning Tools and Tips

Sample essays

Learning a language is a long and difficult process. Research has shown that good language learners have

a number of characteristics that help them achieve their goals. These characteristics include being active,

being independent, making opportunities to use the language and being able to accept uncertainty. Each of

these four areas will be discussed below with examples from my own experience as a language learner.

First, good language learners must be active. This means that they figure out their particular problems and

try to do something about those problems by working to develop special techniques to correct their own

mistakes. For example, I always try to listen to my partner’s mistakes and correct them, because I often find

his/her mistakes are the same as mine. Good language learners actively make guesses and experiment

with the language. When I am reading, for example, I seldom use a dictionary. I guess the meanings of the

new words. I substitute my guess into the sentence and if the meaning of the new word makes sense, I think

my guess is probably correct.

Secondly, good language learners must be independent. According to language researchers Joan Rubin

and Irene Thompson (1994), unless you can take charge of your own learning, you will probably not succeed

in mastering the new language. They emphasise the importance of all learners taking responsibility to find a

learning style that is suitable for them and to be able to adapt a learning situation to suit their personal

needs. For example, I find the best way for me to learn new words is to make vocabulary cards. I keep them

in my pocket or place them around my room. I find the cards are a very convenient way of learning new

words and revising words I have learned previously. However, not everybody likes this method of

vocabulary learning.

The third characteristic of good language learners is that they actually make an effort to use the language.

Brown (1989) points out that persistence in learning is critical for success. Good learners look for

opportunities to speak with native speakers in real life situations even though they may feel fearful. Because

I am a shy person, I find it difficult to initiate conversation, but I have made a rule for myself to start one

conversation in English with a native speaker every day.

Finally, good language learners must be able to accept uncertainty. It is impossible to improve without

experimenting and being able to not only make mistakes but to laugh at those mistakes too. While some

learners prefer a very structured approach, which involves learning the rules of the language and focussing

on accuracy in their speaking and writing, other learners prefer to focus on “real-life” communication (Rubin

& Thompson, 1994). In my culture, we lose face if we make a mistake, but I have worked hard to allow

myself to look foolish sometimes. I don’t apologise for my mistakes now, but accept them as part of the

process of language learning.

In conclusion, it is clear that there are certain key things that learners must do in order to succeed in

language learning. Being active, being independent, using the language, and accepting uncertainties are

things which the learner, with continual practice, should take responsibility to do.

References

Brown, H.D. (1989) A practical guide to language learning. New York: McGraw-Hill.

Rubin, J. & Thompson, I. (1994) How to be a more successful language learner: Toward learner autonomy,

2nd ed. Boston, MA: Heinle and Heinle.

Adapted essay written by Averil Coxhead

100

Family Responsibility: A Dangerous Policy?

There has been talk in some political circles that some responsibility for social welfare should be shifted

from governments to families (Johnston, 2009). This would involve a reversal of the current trend towards

increasingly smaller families and would encourage several generations to live together in extended

families. However, this is a dangerous policy that could lead to a variety of social problems, not only for

the elderly people themselves, but also for the families that would have to look after them.

Often it is the elderly themselves who are reluctant to live with their children. Several main reasons are

commonly given for this. The first is that many want to retain their independence. They want to be able to

come and go as they please, and to be able to live their lives in their own way and not have to fit in with

other people, even if they are a family. When with their family, they often feel they have lost some control

over their lives, even if the alternative is to rely on support services such as visits from nurses (Smith,

2008). Secondly, many elderly people are proud of being able to look after themselves, and would feel

deep shame to be looked after by anyone, even close family members. In other cases, the children may

have to move to a distant city for work or other reasons, and their parents might not want to leave the

house and the place they know well, and leave all their friends and neighbours, to join their children in a

city where they have no roots (Jones, 2010).

A further problem is that people in the family, usually women, are likely to have to spend time away from

their careers. The consequence of this is that the person or people have to take time out from their jobs

and their working lives, and not only do they lose the income and self-respect that a job provides, but also

the ensuing gap in their career may mean that when they eventually return to work, they have lost the

opportunity to develop work skills that could have led to promotion (Wright, 2007).

Extended families also reduce the independence of younger family members. A family, especially an

extended one, can be a stifling environment, in that young people can be made to feel that it is their duty

to carry the wishes of their elders, which may not always be in their best interests. Though many young

people may benefit to some extent from the greater experience and knowledge of their family elders,

overall the scope for personal growth of young adult family members is reduced in extended families

(Turner, 2010).

Promoting the extended family model will also be likely to disadvantage those, who, through no fault of

their own, cannot live in an extended family. For example, if their children live overseas, if there is an

argument in the family that prevents them from living together, or simply if there are no children, then for

the individuals concerned, this policy fails. No matter what happens it is essential that government

support is always available to such people (Burns, 2009).

In conclusion, social problems will result if a return to living in extended families is encouraged. Individuals

should be able to choose how they organise their living arrangements, and everyone should have the

opportunity to enjoy the benefits of independent living.

Essay adapted from:

Cox, K., & Hill, D. (2004). EAP Now! English for academic purposes. NSW, AU: Pearson Education (pp.

44-45).

101

Nuclear fusion versus nuclear fission

Nuclear energy must be a consideration for the future with the rapidly depleting supply of fossil fuels. This

type of energy can be created through nuclear fission and nuclear fusion. Nuclear fission is the splitting of a

heavy atom into two or more parts, releasing huge amounts of energy. The release of energy can be

controlled and captured for generating electricity. Nuclear fusion involves bombarding hydrogen atoms

together to form helium. In the long run, nuclear fusion has greater potential than fission.

Cost and availability of fuel is a considerable factor when dealing with nuclear power. Fission requires an

element that can be easily split in a particle accelerator, such as uranium or plutonium. Fusion, on the other

hand, uses isotopes of hydrogen atoms, specifically deuterium and tritium, that can be obtained from

ordinary water. Uranium ores occur naturally in many parts of the world but must go through a costly

purification process before used as fuel. The unprocessed ore contains approximately 99.3% uranium-238, a

non-fissionable isotope of uranium, and only about 0.7% of U-235 required for fission (Evans, 2009). One

hydrogen atom out of 6700 appears as deuterium, a naturally occurring isotope of hydrogen with an extra

neutron, and can easily be separated from the rest (Greer, 2010). Uranium-235 is a non-renewable resource

that will eventually run out, much like the fossil fuels. The abundance of deuterium and lithium provide a

virtually unlimited supply of fuel for nuclear fusion (Lipkey, 2008). Therefore, nuclear fusion seems to be the

better choice.

Second, the potential amount of energy produced by fusion can greatly outweigh the fission. Initially, there

are some disadvantages to fusion. The time and money required to develop technology needed to initiate,

contain, and sustain a profitable fusion reaction is costly, but the development is still in its early stages and

will continue to advance through the next century. Fission readily creates a chain reaction which must be

slowed through use of a moderator to avoid core meltdown, while fusion can only be accomplished at

temperatures similar to the centre of stars, about 100 million degrees Celsius (Holmes, 2005). The

components used in fusion exist in the form of plasma where atoms are divided into electrons and nuclei. No

solid material known to man can withstand temperatures necessary for nuclear fusion, but several methods

of containment are being researched, magnetic confinement and inertial confinement. Until recently, all

fusion devices developed have used much more energy than produced, but the latest designs have been

able to generate an equal amount of energy to that required to sustain the reaction. Finally, fusion of a given

mass of deuterium will be able to create over four times the energy produced through fission of an equal

mass of uranium. It is just a matter of time and development before useful amounts of electricity can be

produced through fusion (Earl, 2011; Thompson, 2008).

Finally, the biggest concern people have about nuclear power is the production of radioactive waste among

other hazards. First, the radioactive waste produced by fission remains highly radioactive for thousands of

years. Fusion produces only low levels of short lived radiation, decaying almost completely within 100 years

(Stevens, 2004). Secondly, neither fission nor fusion reactors produce the greenhouse gas emissions that

contribute to global warming and acid rain (Rickards & Myers, 1999). Finally, a malfunction of the moderator

in nuclear fission reactors almost assures a core meltdown. The unchecked reaction, heating up very rapidly,

eventually liquefies the protective casing, and releases catastrophic radioactive material into the environment

(Casey, 2003). Fusion reactions, however, are so extremely difficult to sustain that if anything were to go

wrong, the reaction would invariably stop. After examining the potential of such technologies as fusion it

becomes the obvious choice over fission.

In conclusion, nuclear fusion has much more potential for long term use than the current fission reactors,

even though in the short term it may cost a little more to develop. The small price to pay for development of

fusion technology seems trivial in comparison to the price of the planet.

Essay adapted from:

123.helpme.com (n.d.). Compare nuclear fusion vs. nuclear fission. Retrieved 31 January 2011 from

http://www.123HelpMe.com/view.asp?id=16355

Note: (n.d.) stands for “no date”; however, it is unadvisable to use sources that do not

have a publication date for your essay or report assignment.

102

Sample title page

Expansion Opportunities and Challenges

for the Farro Fresh Food Group in New Zealand

Submitted by: John Kim

ID number: 11123456

Prepared for: Mr. Malcolm Keene

Paper: 192.102 Academic Writing in English

for Speakers of Other Languages

Date submitted: 16 October 2016

103

Sample report #1

Table of Contents

1. Introduction 1

2. Diversity in the Workplace 1

2.1 Overall Benefits and Challenges 1

2.2 Employing Mature Workers 2

2.2.1 Benefits for an Organisation 2

2.2.2 Challenges for an Organisation 3

2.3 Employing Different Ethnicities 5

2.3.1 Benefits for an Organisation 5

2.3.2 Challenges for an Organisation 6

3. Conclusions 7

4. Recommendations 8

5. References 9

104

1. Introduction

This report was commissioned by a group of local business people in New Zealand. Its

purpose is to analyse the advantages and disadvantages of diversity in the New Zealand

workforce and also advise on how to manage them.

Diversity is generally defined as acknowledging , understanding, accepting, valuing, and

celebrating differences among people with respect to age, class, ethnicity, gender,

physical and mental ability, race, sexual orientation, spiritual practice, and public

assistance status (Esty et al., 1995, cited in Green et al., 2002). Diversity in workplace

these days in New Zealand is something that most people would face due to its growing

population. It has almost become a norm to expect to see at least one colleague with

different characteristics such as age, ethnicity, gender, physical/mental abilities, or

educational background. Since the workplace consists of many different individuals,

companies should search for the best possible ways to utilise their human resources

because having diversity in the workplace certainly has great advantages along with some

challenges.

This report analyses those pros and cons, and offers recommendations on how to

overcome the difficulties the company could come across especially with having elderly

people and different ethnicities within an organisation.

2. Diversity in the Workplace

2.1 Overall Benefits and Challenges

Having diversity in workplace will make the employees more competitive because each

and everyone’s merit will be the base measurement, not anything else (Abu-Laban &

Gabriel, 2002), and because everyone is treated equally and fairly against their

achievements, employees’ attitude towards their work will be changed. The most

significant change the organisation could expect is the improvement in productivity and/or

service to clients. One study shows that having diversity in the workforce has reduced the

staff turnover ratio in New Zealand’s organisations (Equal Employment Opportunities

Trust, 2005).

Diversity in the workplace also has difficulties to overcome because it is not only about

admitting the difference in people, but also “recognising the value of differences,

combating discrimination, and promoting inclusiveness” (Devoe, 1999, cited in Green, et.

105

al., 2002, p. 2). Any kind of negative attitudes will not be beneficial for a company. It could

result in destroying working relationships between colleagues, damaging morale, or a

decline in work productivity.

2.2 Employing Mature Workers (50+)

2.2.1 Benefits to an Organisation

Older workers tend to be more responsible and more serious about their work. They are

likely to have a house, a car or two and some children in their late teens or early 20s. This

means they have commitments and responsibilities like a mortgage to pay off and

children’s tertiary education costs to fund. They value their jobs much more than the

average new-school leavers who have little or no commitments. In addition, they tend to

have less absenteeism, and they are more willing to work. Jim Collin, the farm owner and

managing director at Kairanga Poultry Farm, said that “Neil, who began working at the

farm after his early retirement from the banking industry, is more reliable to work with. He

will accept an instruction more willingly than a young person” and “ he always turns up on

time, works at his peak, and pushes on when he has to” (Department of Labour, 2004,

p.5).

Also, old people generally have more experience and knowledge. One of the reasons most

companies look for ‘experienced staff’ is because they normally have been exposed to and

have dealt with much wider variety of issues, and those employees can foresee the

expected outcome of situations that they have been in. Having experience in such

circumstances usually allow decisions to be made faster and more accurately. This often

leads to improved customer service which is invaluable in any business.

In addition, they also have maturity of thought, especially when dealing with colleagues. A

combination of having a sense of responsibility and the benefit of past experiences, they

realise that confronting differences of opinions by pushing their way through often leads to

discontent and brings tensions into their work environment. Jim Collin also stated that Neil

“gets on well with everyone” (Department of Labour, 2004, p. 5). So in order to have a

stable job, they understand that a collaborative win-win situation, rather than having

uncomfortable moments, will strengthen their work relationships.

106

2.2.2 Challenges for an Organisation

Older employees tend to have more experience and yet, it could be considered as one of

the disadvantages. With numerous years of experience, they may be resistant to change

even for small things since the method they have been using for the last 20 years has

worked fine. So they might think their method must be correct, therefore it should not be

altered. The solutions they have known, would most likely be the most appropriate method

then, but it may not be now because older employees often fail to see that their work

environment has evolved over the last few decades. With such practices, it could make the

company inefficient. However, without adapting to newer or better methods, it could also

bring a decrease in productivity and profit to the organisation.

It is also an accepted fact that as people get older, they require more time and repeated

instructions before they actually learn something new. The phrase ‘an old dog cannot learn

new tricks’ unfortunately becomes true as people advance in age. This would be a

disadvantage in a small and/or constantly evolving business or positions where change is

common and adaptability is a necessity. Age could well become an obstacle when learning

new things. For example, there were two employees, one in the early 50s and the other in

the early 30s, and they both needed to learn the same new software for their roles. The

same amount of training was given to them and two weeks later, the employee in the early

50s was still struggling with some functions of the software whereas the younger employee

had the grasp of it (Green et al., 2002).

Another characteristic of advancing in age would be the weakening of the body strength;

however, there could be some exceptions. Older workers are at a higher risk of injury if

they are engaged in strenuous physical activity when compared to a person in the prime of

his/her life. This is definitely not an insurmountable obstacle but it is something to be

considered if the job requires higher physical activity.

2.3 Employing Different Ethnicities

2.3.1 Benefits to an Organisation

Culturally diverse staff could facilitate communication with customers because people are

naturally drawn towards familiarities. Being able to speak the customers’ native language

fluently can easily build a natural rapport, which is innately good for the business and

107

could promote better negotiations when required. Rod Giles, the Managing Director of

Contract Warehouse Ltd, who has an Indian account manager dealing with their Indian

customers mentioned that “people feel more at ease when they can talk to someone from

their own culture” (Department of Labour, 2004, p. 8). This also means that culturally

diverse staff could become the primary source of information when developing new

customers or altering their current services or products to a particular ethnic market

because they know and understand the culture better than anyone else (Abu-Laban &

Gabriel, 2002).

Another powerful benefit of cultural diversification is having different knowledge and

experiences from variety of cultures when contributing to the overall accomplishment of

organisational objectives (Heathfield, n.d.). Different ethnic groups approach issues in their

own ways based on past experiences. Therefore, with a group of culturally diverse staff,

there seems to be a lot more different strategies to achieve their set targets as a company.

Furthermore, cultural diversity will promote a better understanding of each other which will

lead to a more harmonious and positive work ethic. This means building acceptance and

tolerance between different ethnic groups is essential. Disagreement in opinion and

conflicts are bound to occur in any atmosphere with a group of people but with

understanding and tolerance accepted by staff, addressing and resolving the differences

would most likely become a smoother process.

2.3.2 Challenges for an Organisation

Everyone subscribes to stereotypes to varying degrees, whether consciously or otherwise.

Undoubtedly every race and ethnic group all have their preconceived stereotypes of other

ethnic groups, thus it could develop prejudices. Left unchecked, this often leads to

discrimination. If discrimination occurs at managerial levels, it could have some effect

when treating minorities. It could also happen amongst peers, by forming a clique and

alienating some people. Any cases of discrimination could end up with formal complaints,

legal actions, or both will affect work productivity. This does not seem to be a desirable

behaviour within any organisation because it will create inefficiencies which will obstruct

the smooth functioning of the organisation. This deprecatory behaviour should be

mitigated and potentially removed if the organisation wants to keep the working

environment positive.

108

Furthermore, not all newly immigrated employees can speak English fluently. If one has

difficulty communicating with others or is constantly making grammar mistakes with

documentation and always needs someone else’s help to correct them, this situation

would result in doubling other colleagues’ work. In such circumstances, again, the

productivity will go down which then leads into the situation where revenue is low, and

labour cost is high.

3. Conclusions

3.1 Diversity in the workforce creates competitiveness between colleagues due to the

merit based reviewing system of individuals. It could also change the atmosphere of

the workplace to foster a higher achievement rate, and could maintain a lower staff

turnover ratio in comparison to other organisations in New Zealand.

3.2 Having older people as employees could benefit an organisation; they have more

experience which is invaluable to any business, they tend to be more responsible,

take their job more seriously and have a stronger motivation, resulting in reduced

absenteeism. They also have good relationships with colleagues.

3.3 Having culturally diverse staff can facilitate communication with customers because

people usually get along well with people from the same background which might

directly lead to increased profit. Having diversity also provides cultural

understanding and tolerance that promotes a more harmonious and positive

workplace and work ethic.

3.4 Diversity in the workforce may negatively affect the productivity of the company, due

to discrimination. It could also destroy work relationships and damage morale.

3.5 Having older people as employees could block the innovations the company needs

because of their stubbornness or resistance to change due to their past

experiences. They also need a longer time to learn new things so it could reduce the

growth rate of the company. Furthermore, they may have a higher chance of getting

injured when physical ability is required.

3.6 Having diversity in the workplace could spark prejudices and discrimination within a

company. Monitoring of worker behaviour is also required due to inefficiencies.

109

4. Recommendations

4.1 It is important that difficult employees be managed with care. This can be done

through consistent communication with staff so that the business remains

progressive and everyone should always be looking for better ways to do things.

The benefits of constant improvement should always be extolled to all staff and

more importantly, how these improvements would benefit them.

4.2 It is important to understand the strengths of each staff and utilise them

appropriately (i.e., if they are more comfortable with routine work rather than

developing new skills, place them in roles that perform more routine work).

4.3 For physically demanding tasks, a company should not assign such roles to anyone

of little strength but if there is no other option, seek assistance from technology like

reach-lifts and conveyor systems to allow less-fit workers to play their part in a more

physical environment.

4.4 It is very important for a company to educate employees that discrimination will not

be accepted within the company. This undesirable behaviour can be mitigated and

potentially removed, if the organisation develops a strong meritocratic and

multicultural ethic and where staff are appraised based on merit and contribution

rather than their ethnic group. Also, favouring specific ethnic groups has to be strictly

addressed to avoid cultivating a similar culture throughout the organisation.

5. References

Abu-Laban, Y. & Gabriel, C. (2002). Selling Diversity: Immigration, multiculturalism,

employment equity, and globalisation. Toronto: Broadview Press Ltd.

Department of Labour (2004). People power: Successful diversity at work. Wellington, NZ:

Department of Labour.

Equal Employment Opportunities Trust (2005). EEO trust diversity report 2005: Foreword

and executive summary. Auckland, NZ: EEO Trust.

Green, K.A., López, M., Wysocki, A., & Kepner, K. (2002). Diversity in the Workplace:

Benefits, Challenges, and the Required Managerial Tools. Retrieved October 1,

2008 from http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/HR022.

Heathfield, S. M. (n.d.). Diverse People : Just Like Me ?. Retrieved October 1, 2008 from

http://humanresources.about.com/od/diversity/a/diversity.htm

110

Sample report #2

The Implementation of Equal Employment Opportunities (EEO)

Policy in All Public Service Departments: The Benefits to the

Public in New Zealand

By: XXXX XXXXX

To: The New Zealand Government

Date: 26.05.2008

111

TABLE OF CONTENTS Page

1 Introduction 4

2 Implementation of Equal Employment Opportunities

2.1 The Benefits to Society 5

2.1.1 To develop a non-discriminatory society

2.1.2 To survive in an era of globalisation

2.2 The Advantages to Business Organisations 6

2.2.1 Alternative to hiring devoted workers

2.2.2 A positive environment in the workplace

2.3 The Positive Impact to the Family Unit 7

2.3.1 Strengthen the family relationship

3 Conclusions 8

4 Recommendations 8

5 References 10

112

1. INTRODUCTION

This report was requested by the government of New Zealand with the purpose to examine the

benefits of the implementation of Equal Employment Opportunities (EEO) policy in each

government’s departments to the entire society. In this report, the public is categorized into three

groups - the whole society in general, business organisations and the family unit. In addition, this

report analyses numerous recommendations to develop a standard EEO policy which is applicable

and is accepted throughout the region.

Today, New Zealand has substantial diversity in its population and it is evolving year by year. The

country is already unique with multiracial people such as Maori, Pasifika and Caucasians living

together in harmony. Nonetheless, they welcome more migrants from Asian countries like China,

India and the Middle East into the country. Thus, a changing pattern to society as well as the labour

force is generated due to this trend. New Zealanders have become more ethnically diverse. The

New Zealand government responded to this situation by designing the Equal Employment

Opportunities (EEO) policy to be implemented in all public service departments. The main

objective of this policy is to facilitate those departments to deliver the government’s outcomes fairly

and effectively to the diverse society. Also, this policy works based on a merit principle. As stated

by the State Services Commission (1997), the first statement by the Government Employing

Authorities on EEO was signed in 1984. The government decided to implement it in public service

and it has been in effect since then. The State Services Commission (SSC) plays a role to promote,

develop and monitor the policy within each government’s departments (State Services Commission,

1997).

The government realises employing a new guideline is always a challenge. Some controversial

issues might occur, for instance, dissatisfaction amongst the local people. However, the authority

needs to accept the fact and treat a diverse society fairly.

113

2. IMPLEMENTATION OF EQUAL EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES

2.1 The Benefits to Society

The main focus of the New Zealand’s government in setting up the policy is because they are

concerned about serving a diverse society effectively and efficiently. Another perspective is, as a

small open economy, the country needs to encourage trade liberalisation. Thus, global interaction is

inevitable.

2.1.1 To develop a non-discriminatory society

According to the report by the State Services Commission (1997), the changing workforce

demography (being diverse) will remain in the future. The multicultural citizens deserve to have

access to all employment opportunities in the region. Through the enforcement of this policy in the

public service departments, the government can protect people’s rights. For example, any direct and

indirect bias in job specifications will be eliminated. All New Zealanders from different ethnicities

have the equal opportunity to seek a suitable job based on their ability and personality, and not

because of their background culture. Furthermore, the government should foster social

responsibility by responding to every social and economic demands without discrimination. The

EEO policy can help them to fulfil this and develop fairness in society.

2.1.2 To survive in an era of globalisation

A business will be driven out from the market if it could not compete successfully in this era of

globalisation. Trade and communication are not limited within the region anymore, but

interconnected with other countries around the world. In order to survive in this challenging liberal

market, the implementation of Equal Employment Opportunities (EEO) helps the nation. For

instance, it is predicted that the increasing proportion of migrants will be much higher in the next

decade (Department of Labour, 2004). To have better communication with the global network,

migrants will be a good source. They bring the needed language skills and cultural knowledge about

export markets. Thus, having them in the labour force is essential.

114

2.2 The Advantages to Business Organisations

Implementing the Equal Employment Opportunities policy also generates a positive impact on

business organisations whether it is a big or small firm (Equal Employment Opportunities Trust,

2005). This policy is not a threat to the workers. It assesses them based on their work performances

and recognises the importance of every member’s contribution to the organisation (Abu-Laban &

Gabriel, 2002).

2.2.1 Alternative to hiring devoted workers

A diverse workforce does not mean to only have multicultural workers. Accepting the elderly,

women, and disabled people to join organisations also enhances the diversity in the workplace.

Occasionally, businesses might have difficulties in finding motivated and industrious employees

(Department of Labour, 2004). If they apply the Equal Employment Opportunities policy, this

might resolve the problem. This is because new migrants and long-term unemployed (most of them

are women, older people and disabled people) will always appreciate the job opportunities given

and perform a high quality work as preferred by the employers. Thus, employing diverse staff might

influence the local or older workers to change their work practices and improve their work quality.

They will have the incentive to be more competitive and productive (Department of Labour, 2004).

2.2.2 A positive environment in the workplace

Diversity also contributes to a stronger team in the workplace. The staff will appreciate each other

specialties more as well as their weaknesses. For example, hiring an employee with tunnel vision

will help the office to be more orderly (Department of Labour, 2004). This is because those

employees learn to be tidier, keep their chair in the right place so that the visually impaired

employee will not bump into it. Having disabled persons creates a stronger bond within the

organisation team as they become each other’s supporter and pay more respect to others

(Department of Labour, 2004).

115

2.3 The Positive Impact to the Family Unit

Female participation in the workforce has been steadily increasing for decades and probably will

rise further. The proportion of New Zealand’s aging population has increased steadily (Department

of Labour, 2004). This statistic displays the importance of adopting the Equal Employment

Opportunity policy, as a response to the realities of the workplace.

2.3.1 Strengthen the family relationship

Working mothers means that women have chosen to take on both career and family responsibilities.

They are not just taking care of their children or handle the house chores but play another role as an

employee. Sometimes they need to take a long break to have children. This policy gives more

opportunity to the female to generate their own income and support the family due to the increased

standard of living. Equality in the workplace will lead to equality in the family (Carr-Ruffino,

2005). Since the husband and wife hold their own jobs, they will need to share the responsibilities

of taking care of their kids as well as taking care of an older member of the family if they have one.

In addition, women believe when they gain the freedom to work, they will also gain the balance of

power in a family relationship. They will understand their rights in the marriage more and this will

create harmony in the family relationship (Carr-Ruffino, 2005).

3. CONCLUSIONS

3.1 Through the implementation of the EEO policy, gradual acceptance of the policy from

employees and employers will lead to more trust from the general public.

3.2 This policy will also lead to a more diverse workforce as people from different backgrounds

learn how to understand their differences and respect each other more.

3.3 The New Zealand economy can become more competitive in the global market. This leads to a

stable economy.

116

3.4 New Zealanders enjoy the freedom and rights gained from the implementation of EEO policy

and this will lead to a fairer society.

4. RECOMMENDATIONS

4.1 The New Zealand government and the public service departments should be committed in their

collaboration to the practice and the promotion of EEO policy.

4.2 Senior management levels in business organisations should provide more resources for EEO

training and also pay attention to hire more women, other ethnic groups and disabled people to fill

positions.

4.3 The government should hire more EEO training staff and add the resources of EEO in business

organisations so that they can monitor the practice of EEO policy in each government’s department

efficiently.

4.4 The government should create a realistic and standard policy for the entire public services

department for application and assessment so that their reports will give the true picture of current

EEO.

4.5 The government should enforce the implementation of the EEO policy which are under section

58 of the State Sector Act 1988 and section 6 of the same Act.

5. REFERENCES

Abu-Laban, Y., & Gabriel, C. (2002). Selling diversity: Immigration,multiculturalism,employment equity, and

globalisation. Sydney, Australia: Broadview Press.

Carr-Ruffino, N. (2005). Making diversity work. Australia: Pearson Education.

Department of Labour. (2004). People Power: Successful diversity at work. Wellington,New Zealand:

Department of Labour.

Equal Employment Opportunities Trust (2005). EEO Trust Diversity Survey Report 2005: Foreword and

executive summary. Auckland, New Zealand: Equal Employment Opportunities Trust.

State Services Commission (1997). EE0 Policy to 2010: Future directions of EEO in the New Zealand Public

Service. Wellington, New Zealand: State Services Commission.

117

Sentence structure

The guide below may provide some strategies for how to start your sentences by referring

to one of your sources (left hand column) followed by verbs (right hand column) that are

commonly used in academic writing to help you be more precise with your intended

meaning. You can add to this list by writing down phrases or verbs that you have noticed

in your other papers or subject areas.

The author

The writer

The article

The research

This paper

This report

Jones (2009)

Smith and Smith

(2008)

A 2009 Ministry of

Education report

Veronica Johnston,

an environmental

reporter,

says  states  mentions  discusses  reports  addresses  enquires

into  introduces  presents  relates

shows  reveals  points out  indicates  describes  illustrates 

demonstrates  displays  reflects  exposes  exhibits  highlights 

recognises  acknowledges  clarifies  confirms

reviews  summarises  outlines  traces

defines  explains  explicates  exemplifies

stresses  emphasises

speculates  hypothesises  predicts  assumes

argues for/against/that  suggests  claims  asserts  purports 

implies  contends  provides ~  agrees with  concurs with  is

congruent with  is in agreement with  supports  promotes 

advocates  justifies  offers  persuades  postulates  posits 

proves/disapproves  reinforces  fosters  facilitates  undermines 

underscores 

compares  contrasts  examines  investigates  analyses 

interprets  integrates  combines  synthesises  criticises 

assesses  evaluates  generates

118

Academic words (and synonyms)

The list below emphasises the importance of introducing academic vocabulary into writing.

Instead of using simple words, try using some of the words from this list. Be careful! You

cannot simply substitute these words for the simpler word. You must also change the word

form or the grammar. Type your words into Google to see if the grammar works.

Simple

(verbs)

Alternative Words of Similar Meaning

do perform – conduct – execute – implement – carry out – achieve –

accomplish – proceed – act - participate - pursue

give distribute - pass – allocate – serve – grant – confer – transfer –

return – restore – present - assign

make construct – assemble – build – improvise – create – produce –

generate – develop – prepare – form – manufacture

get obtain – secure – attain – receive - collect – accumulate – amass –

gain – acquire – gather – assemble – retrieve – recover

(adjectives)

good beneficial – advantageous – positive – effective – significant –

essential - necessary – superior – impressive – exceptional - robust

okay sufficient – adequate – acceptable - enough – respectable –

reasonable – passable – satisfactory – mediocre – average –

common - regular

bad insufficient – inadequate – negative – lack – substandard – inferior –

lacklustre – incompetent – deplorable - poor

simple basic – crude – primitive – rudimentary – unsophisticated – low-tech

– straightforward – plain - effortless

hard difficult – daunting – challenging – demanding – taxing – strenuous –

gruelling – arduous – tricky – awkward – complicated – problematic –

struggle – pressured

same identical – synonymous – consistent – unchanging – unaffected -

constant – uniform – homogeneous – standard – corresponding –

coincide – equivalent – equate – overlap

different distinct – differ – vary – contrast – diverge – unique – individual –

alternative – special – particular – characteristic - opposite

first initial – preliminary – exploratory – original – foundation – underlying

– unprecedented – inaugural – earliest - prototype

last final – parting – departing – closing – concluding – the latter

past prior – previous – aforementioned – former – historical - record

future potential – prospective – outlook – one day – to come - upcoming

(quantity/ nouns)

problem issue - challenge – dilemma – debate - controversy - difficulty

chance opportunity – possibility – opening – break – scope – prospects

thing point – aspect – factor – variable – attribute – characteristic – subject

– activity – action – event – incident – occurrence - circumstance –

situation – idea – view - perspective – tendency – behaviour

lots, a lot of, many numerous - a number of – several – plenty of– ample - multiple – a

wide range of – extensive – widespread – countless – abundant -

prolific – various

119

Latin abbreviations

As an alternative to using words to express your ideas, you may decide to use latin

abbreviations. These abbreviations are usually found in parentheses within an academic

paper.

Latin abbreviations used in parentheses

Abbreviation Meaning Example

e.g., for example

for instance

192.102 Acdemic English assignment 学术英语代写

such as

The increase in the number of tourists is due to

various factors (e.g., new attractions, economic

growth in neighbouring countries, and increased

spending on advertising).

i.e., that is

in other words

The inherent flaws in the design of the model have

necessitated a prompt meeting among board

members to discuss possible solutions (i.e.,

substantial revisions are required in the next 3 years)

etc. and so on

and so forth

There are numerous types of fish in Lake Ontario

(e.g., salmon, pike, trout, etc.)

vs. versus

against

The results of the medical program drew nationwide

criticism for the problems of providing adequate

health care (see case study: Drake Hospital vs.

Connor).

cf., compare with

Contrary to public belief, the effects of factory

emissions have not been reported to be the cause of

any localized damage to the natural environment (cf.,

Brooks, 1988).

viz., namely

in particular

The downturn in the economy has caused massive

layoffs in the manufacturing industry (viz., the auto

industry).

et.al. and others

and the other

authors

Various studies (Costas, 2002; Salazar et.al., 1999)

have recently been conducted on this debate, which

supports a proposal for a less expensive solution.

120

Contents

page

Welcome to 192.102

Contact details 1

Study guide contents 2

Section A – Administration Guide

Semester schedule 3

Dictionaries, Writing support 4

Stream, Plagiarism 5

Assessments 6

Essay assignment 7

Report assignment 11

Section B – Getting Started

Stream and how to email your tutor 14

Section C – Week-by-Week Lessons

Paragraph structure 18

Transition words 21

Audience 25

Understanding the assignment question 28

Finding appropriate sources 29

Critical reading 32

Summary writing 35

Paraphrasing information 40

Essay structure 46

Essay introductions 52

The body of the essay 59

Essay conclusions 63

APA Referencing 65

Introduction to report writing 72

Report introductions 77

Discussion section 79

Using quotations 83

Report conclusions 88

Report recommendations 91

Tables and figures 95

Section D – Learning Tools and Tips

Sample essays 99

Sample reports 102

Academic language tips 117

192.102 Acdemic English assignment 学术英语代写

192.102 Acdemic English assignment 学术英语 代写

192.102 Acdemic English assignment 学术英语代写